Happy New Year from Longbox Junk!

Welcome back to Longbox Junk!  Home of comic reviews you never knew you wanted!

It's been a bit busy at work because of some unusually brisk holiday business, but that's coming to an end and there will be plenty of Longbox Junkin' to be had during the slow winter months ahead. 

I'm not QUITE done with the next Off-Brand One Shots entry (maybe another day or two and it will be up), so I'm going to take this opportunity to welcome the readers of Longbox Junk into 2020!

I truly do appreciate the readers of this blog.  There are a LOT of comic review blogs and sites out there.  The fact that you choose to spend a bit of your precious time here reading my nonsense is just an amazing thing to me, so once again my heartfelt thanks!

Here's my New Year wish. . .

DISCLAIMER: This is aimed mostly at U.S. readers.  The sentiment is still the same for any International readers, just mentally adjust the words to match your country's own specific craziness.

Look. . .this country is divided.  There's political division even within my own family.  I'm sure many of you are feeling the same sense of frustration and division I often do, no matter WHAT side of the political line you may find yourself on (and I'm not taking sides here or getting specific, so you can keep on reading).

The bad part about it is that as the year goes on, it's just gonna get worse.  You know it and I know it.  As we move toward next November, things are going to get extremely tense.  There's no way any of it is going to end to everyone's satisfaction.  There's going to be a lot of anger and frustration no matter what happens.  

It is my sincere wish for everyone reading this that you please don't let politics take over your life.  That you can step back and just relax a bit from time to time.  Don't let what's happening in Washington affect you or your family in a bad way.  Try to find ways to agree to disagree.

Here's a humble suggestion:

Any time the political mess starts getting to you, jump in your car and head to a comic shop.  Walk right on past all the shiny new comics on the shelf and get yourself over to some back issue boxes. . .the cheaper the better. . .stuff in old yellow bags down there on the bottom shelf that hardly anybody ever looks through is the best. The bottom shelf is ALWAYS the best. Get on down there.  Sit on the floor.  Start digging.  

I GUARANTEE that for at least a little while your mind will be eased as you dig through that pile of Longbox Junk. You won't have a single thought of politics while you look for the ONE nugget of gold you KNOW is buried in that box.  And when you find it. . .Awwwww, YEAH!  

And then start digging for the next one. . .

May you find happiness and prosperity in 2020!

Merry Christmas From Longbox Junk!

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, the place to find comic book reviews you never asked for!

'Tis the season for comic review sites to be getting into some Christmas cheer!

Unfortunately, last year I discovered I have a severe lack of Holiday-Themed comics for some strange and unknown reason I can't figure out.  And when I say a severe lack, what I mean is that out of THOUSANDS of comics between me and my daughter, we have a grand total of FOUR Christmas comics. . .of which I've already reviewed two.

SO. . .

Instead of doing reviews of Christmas comics I don't have, I'll take this opportunity to thank the readers of Longbox Junk.  I appreciate each and every one of you who choose to come into this merry mess of reviews that nobody ever asked for on a regular basis.  And for those of you who have somehow accidentally found your way into this little corner of the internet, thank you for coming as well!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and many more to come!

Longbox Junk - Off-Brand One Shots Part 4

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, where I review comics that nobody asked me to!

The comics I've been reading lately, I don't think ANYBODY has ever been asked to review.  From what I can see, I'm writing the first (and probably the last) reviews of most of them. . .but truthfully, that's the fun part!

What we have here are what I've been calling "Off-Brand One Shots".  They're single issue stories pulled from a recent massive purchase of roughly 600 NON-DC/Marvel comics bought on the cheap from a closing comic shop.

I've put a little twist in things by letting my comic lovin' daughter pick the one shots I've been taking a look at, and so far she's done a pretty good job at mixing things up.  Everything from straight superhero stories, to horror, manga, comedy, and everything in between.

Let's see what she's given me this time!

ONIBA: SWORDS OF THE DEMON #0

ASPEN COMICS (2015)

"NO, MASTER"

SCRIPT: Vince Hernandez & Paolo Pantalena

PENCILS: Paolo Pantalena

COVER: Paolo Pantalena

THE COVER:

Now THAT'S a pretty impressive cover! The colors are amazing, the main character and the dragon are very nicely detailed, and everything really pops up against the plain background.  It's a little bit boob-tastic, but it's not done in an exploitative way (like the other covers below), so I think I can get away with putting this one up on the "Wall O'Covers" at work (I have to think twice about ANY cover with a female I put up there).  I really like everything about this cover!  Let's hope the story is as good.

THE STORY:

In feudal Japan, Daimyo Nobunga Oda is a powerful and ruthless ruler. Expert swordswoman and assassin Yukiko is his most feared and trusted warrior.  After helping decimate a rival clan, Yukiko begins to have doubts about her powerful Master when she secretly witnesses him sacrifice two of his own warriors while praying to something unseen.

After confiding what she's seen to a fellow warrior and friend, Akechi, he also confides that these dark doings are partly what is behind a planned coup he will be leading.  Yukiko declines to join Akechi in his rebellion, but also keeps what she knows secret from her Master.

Shortly afterward, the attack Akechi warned Yukiko about comes, and after a brutal battle, Akechi confronts the fleeing Nobunga, but the fight between the two goes badly for the rebel leader.  Yukiko secretly strikes the killing blow, stabbing her own Master in the back during his moment of triumph, leaving Akechi victorious. . .but the betrayal of her Master is too much for Yukiko to bear.  

Beacause of her shameful secret, Yukiko leaves the clan to wander the land as masterless warrior. . .a Ronin.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

I really liked this comic a lot!  It has a well-written story full of action and intrigue that hints at a darker supernatural center that I want to know more about.  Likewise, the main character is interesting and I want to know where her journey takes her.  Unfortunately, this looks like a project that never got past this single introductory issue, which is a shame because there's a lot of great story potential here.  

Admittedly, this is a story that's been told before. . .Many times before.  That said "Wandering Warrior carrying a dark secret" is a classic story framework for a good reason.  It's a narrative hook a writer can hang almost any kind of tale they want on. The journey of a disgraced warrior through a supernatural-tainted version of Japan is a comic series I want to read.

On the art side of things, the excellence of the cover is carried through to the inside pages.  I love the uninked, sort of watercolor style the artist uses. The colors are great.  The elaborate character designs are fantastic. This comic is simply a feast for the eyes!  EVERY page is worth lingering over. 

Overall, this comic is pure Longbox Junk gold!  It has an interesting story I want more of (and sadly will never get), backed up by some incredible art.  It's a shame that this is the only issue of this series that was ever put out, because I'd be on the bargain bin hunt for the rest if there were more.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give this one FIVE out of FIVE Yojimbo homages.

A GREAT start! Let's see what's next. . .

WITCH HUNTER #1

MALIBU (1996)

BLOOD HUNT

SCRIPT: Laurie Sutton

PENCILS: Joyce Chin

COVER: Renee Paniccia

COLORS: Roberta Conroy, Camelia Cox, Sharleen Gaertner, Lucy Koeoeian, Edie Moses, Rebecca Maiden, Renee Paniccia, Kim Pettijohn, Alicia Rodriguez, Sheri Rohrbacher, Jacquie Roman, Serina Sahakian, Carolyn Shaver, Jennifer Schellinger, Kelli Young.

I just thought I'd point out that there's FIFTEEN color artists credited for this ONE issue! That's gotta be some sort of record. . .

THE COVER:

Oh, boy.  Nope.  This one ain't going up on the office wall.  It's WAY too boob-tastic, and not in a somewhat excusably artistic way (Like Oniba, above), but in a straight-up exploitative 90's "LOOK AT THE BOOBS!" Sort of way.  Setting aside the boobs, it's a decent cover, but not great. . .like a lot of 90's covers, it definitely has the stench of Rob Liefeld's influence on it in the stretched-out proportions, impossible hair, and cybernetic arm. 

THE STORY:

Maria Delorentti (AKA Witch Hunter), an agent of the mysterious supernatural watchdog agency known as The Seventh Sign, follows a trail of clues across the city as she searches for a missing Seventh Sign agent.  

Eventually, she learns the location of the agent, but must work quickly to rescue him.  He is due to be sacrificed at the height of the moon, mere minutes away!  Leaping into action, Witch Hunter disrupts the ceremony in progress and finds herself fighting a cult of female vampires.  

Knowing that her blood is poison to vampires, Witch Hunter allows them to drink.  To block out the pain, she reflects back on her life before she joined Seventh Sign. . .

Massachusetts, 1936.  On her 21st birthday, Maria is attacked by evil spirits that open a portal to another world and attempt to pull her in.  An agent of Seventh Sign who had been watching the house breaks his instructions to observe and report in order to save her. . .but not before her youngest sister is pulled into the portal, her mother dies from the horror, and her other sister falls comatose.  

Upon hearing the news of the devastation her family has suffered, Maria swears vengeance and immediately accepts the offer to join The Seventh Sign as an agent against evil forces.

Returning back to the present, the minions of the Vampire Queen lay dead around Witch Hunter, poisoned by her blood.  She confronts their leader, who knew not to drink from her, and they join in battle.  After a brutal fight in the skies above the city, Witch Hunter manages to behead the Vampire Queen with her holy sword.  With the cult defeated, Witch Hunter returns with the kidnapped agent to headquarters.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

What we have here is a pretty lackluster story.  It has a main character I just couldn't get interested in, with vaguely-defined powers that seem to match whatever the story needs her to have.  The story is weak and forgettable, and is obviously just a hook to hang a comic filled with pictures of half naked women on.  I always tell my daughter to never judge a comic book by its cover. . .but in this case, the cover tells you exactly what you're going to get.

Unfortunately, for a comic where the story is in service to the art, the art isn't even that great.  It's okay, but lacks a sense of motion needed for a story that's basically a long fight scene with a flashback thrown in the middle.  Characters look like they're posing more than moving.  It's pretty obvious that posed pictures of scantily-clad women is the focus of the artist. . .and indeed, the focus of the comic in general.

Overall, what we have here is a comic book laser focused on the lowest common denominators for young men. . .sex and violence.  The sad part is that they don't even get THAT completely right.  This comic is an utterly forgettable relic of the 90's "Bad Girl" trend.  There was never a #2 and it's not hard to see why.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give this one 2 out of 5 Liefeld-Inspired Cybernetic Arms.

One good. . .one bad.  NEXT!

ULTRAVIXEN

HOUND COMICS (2013)

SCORPIO RISING! . . .OR WAS THAT FALLING?

SCRIPT: Marcelo Bravo

PENCILS: Jed Dougherty

COVER: Jed Dougherty

THE COVER:

In case you haven't noticed, my daughter has given me a theme with this handful of one shots.  It's boobs.  She gave me all boob-tastic comics this time. . .Thanks, kid.  Laugh it up.

That said, this isn't a bad cover.  It's just one I can't even think about putting up on the office wall. It's a decent Action Comics #1 homage.  I like how colorful it is, and the main character is pretty well done. Of course ALL the focus is on her (and her gigantic ultraboobs, of course), so the rest of the cover is a bit sketchy.  I don't know what the hell is going on with the purple-faced guy on the left, but I guess as long as that impossible ultracleavage is perfectly done, the rest doesn't really matter. . .

THE STORY:

Meteor City's local superhero, UltraVixen, goes about her daily business of keeping the city safe, fending off her rabid fan club, and keeping her secret identity as Vivian Vincent, scientific assistant, safe from discovery by her co-workers at Saber Tech Industries.

When an experimental (and unstable) Saber Tech fusion engine goes missing, the nefarious criminal organization Scorpio is the prime suspect and UltraVixen is on the case!  She immediately discovers that her old enemy Doctor Faustus is the culprit and she attacks his underground base.

During the battle, Doctor Faustus unleashes the Cyborg supercriminal Stranglehold to destroy UltraVixen.  Unfortunately, Stranglehold is no match for her and is easily defeated, forcing Doctor Faustus to flee the base as it collapses.

UltraVixen uses her powers to keep the fusion engine from exploding, but is unable to prevent the collapse of the underground base and the buildings above.  She is buried in the wreckage, but barely manages to dig her way out.  Meteor City's hero lives to fight another day!

The End.

THE REVIEW:

To be honest, based on the cover I didn't really expect much from this comic.  I was surprised to find myself enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would!  This is actually pretty good, for what it is.  

Basically, what we have here is a decent parody of sexy superhero tropes. . .hence the impossibly boob-tastic nature of the main character.  Scattered through the whole comic are great little scenes poking fun at sexy superhero comics and their readers. 

 Some of my favorites include UltraVixen in her secret identity still being a 6'6 stacked blonde sporting a pair of 58 Double-Deltas that nobody pays attention to thanks to a pair of glasses.  Another good one is UltraVixen's fan club that has members that jump off buildings just so they can be rescued by her (and get close up pictures of her UltraCleavage to post on the internet).

It's a very simple story, and it reads really quickly.  It's not the best-written or the funniest thing I've ever read, but it's far from the worst and it got a chuckle or two out of me, which is a lot more than I can say for other comics that try to be funny.  Not every joke lands, but enough of them do that this comic is a pretty good read.

On the art side, this comic has a very nice cartoony style to it.  It's bright, it's clean, the colors are bold, and everything is nice and sharp.  This is the perfect  kind of art for a light, humorous story such as this.  Yeah. . .it's extremely focused on the gigantic boobs of UltraVixen the whole way through, but that's part of what makes this particular story good.  It's gratuitous on purpose because the story itself is poking fun at comics that are nothing but gratuitous boobs and those who read them.  

Overall, this comic looks like just another gratuitous boob-tastic sexy superhero comic on the surface.  But once you read it, you discover it's actually a parody of exactly that.  It's not the best story I've ever read, but it's a decent comic that gave me a few chuckles.  A nice surprise worth checking out if you should spot it in the bargain bin.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I give this one 3 out of 5 obvious Power Girl references.

AVENGELYNE/ WARRIOR NUN AREALA

MAXIMUM PRESS (1996)

SCRIPT: Rob Liefeld & Robert Napton

PENCILS: Dan Fraga & Michael Chang

COVER: John Stinsman

THE COVER:

*Sigh*  Well. . .at least this time things switch up a little by giving me a healthy dose of butt to go with my boobs.  Listen. . .I'll read comics in front of my wife.  After 20 years with me, she knows what she bought into.  BUT. . .that doesn't mean I want to endure any of my wife's silent mockery of my funny book habit by reading this around her.  

All that aside, this is actually a pretty decent 90's style cover with an obvious Liefeld influence (Pouches!)  For what it is, it's not bad.  Unfortunately, it's doomed to be hidden away in a Longbox after I get done reading it for this review because it's just sort of embarrassing.  

THE STORY:

Fallen Angel Avengelyne and Catholic Warrior Nun Shannon are accidentally thrown together as they both pursue the powerful demon Sojourn as he jumps through time and space to escape them. 

Eventually, the pair manage to corner Sojourn in a future version of Tokyo and are able to defeat him by combining their skills and powers.  Unfortunately, Avengelyne and Shannon are trapped in a time and place not their own.

In the end, Shannon contacts Japanese Warrior Nuns who have time travel technology that can send the two Holy Warriors back to their own worlds and time.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

Not really much to this story when it comes down to it.  Basically, it's an extended chase/fight scene that just sort of throws the two main characters together.  It's actually pretty well written, for what it is, and does a good job introducing the characters to new readers. 

I'm familiar with Warrior Nun, but haven't read any Avengelyne.  I felt like I had a pretty good handle on the basics of the character through the exposition given here.  I think if I didn't know anything about Warrior Nun, I could say the same about her as well.

Unfortunately, aside from doing a decent job of introducing the two main characters, the enemy they are fighting and the rest of the story in general is extremely generic and just sort of bland.  It's the kind of story that you completely forget about not long after you read it.

As far as the art goes, it's. . .okay.  Not great, not bad.  It's pretty typical 90's art that is about as forgettable as the story itself.  There's a few standout panels scattered throughout, but not enough of them to make this story visually memorable as the tale of two Holy Warriors chasing a demon through time and space SHOULD be.

Overall, what we have here is a pretty forgettable comic.  It's written well and does a decent job introducing the characters, but beyond that it doesn't try too hard.  Likewise, the art is decent and even has a few good moments here and there, but doesn't really try to be excellent in any way.  

Unless you're an Avengelyne or Warrior Nun completionist, I'd say you'll be fine if you skip this one.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give this one 2 out of 5. . .I forget what I was going to say here.

And finally. . .

LETHAL #1

IMAGE (1996)

ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK

SCRIPT: Marat Mychaels & Robert Loren Fleming

PENCILS: Marat Mychaels

COVER: Rob Liefeld

THE COVER:

I have to admit that for a 90's Liefeld cover, this one isn't bad at all.  I'm still not reading it in front of my wife and it's way too boob-tastic to go on the wall at work, but I like this one.  It has some great colors that really pop against the dark background, and by focusing on one character it's not as cluttered as many of Liefeld's covers tend to be.

THE STORY:

Once a member of Super-Team Brigade, the warrior called Lethal has been thrown into a strange possible future world of peace and love, where she has been slowly going crazy for lack of action and adventure for the past three years.

Determined to escape back to her own world, Lethal has been building a super-computer to help her find anyone working on time travel.  She finally discovers a "Project Chronos" and decides to investigate.

As she infiltrates the top secret project, Lethal finds herself battling her way through deadly combat robots instead of the non-violent robot police she is used to dealing with, which convinces her she's on the right track. 

Finally arriving at the time machine itself, Lethal intercepts communications letting her know that the creator lured her there on purpose to test the device before using it to change the past.  Lethal ponders destroying the machine, even though it would trap her forever in the strange possible future she's been living in.  Suddenly, she is attacked by a  mysterious woman!

The End.  To be continued?

THE REVIEW:

This is a strange little relic.  It's part of Image's (then) ongoing superhero continuity spun off from the "Brigade" series that is supposed to tell what happened in the years between the main character disappearing during a battle with a villain called Crypt and when Image brought the character back (Thanks, Wikipedia!)  But this issue is all there is, even though there's an obvious "To be continued" tag on the final page.  In other words, yet ANOTHER off-brand unfinished project.

So what we have here is basically just a sort of story fragment that assumes that the reader knows everything about (then current) Image continuity and the main character.  There's a bit of exposition to be had, but without hitting Wikipedia, this comic is pretty much unreadable except for the bare-bones understanding that you've got some sort of scantilly-clad warrior woman kicking and stabbing ninja robots in order to steal a ride in a time machine.

The art here is decent.  Nothing great, but there are a few pretty nice panels here and there.  It's Liefeld-inspired Image House Style straight from the publisher's "We want to be Marvel!" days, which is to say that there's a major focus on Lethal's crotch as she kicks her way through the various battles that makes this comic even less office-readable than the others in this handful. 

Gratuitous crotch shots aside,  the WORST part of the art is the God-Awful coloring.  The coloring in this comic is so garish on most pages that it sort of made me want to just not read it at all.

Overall, this comic is practically unreadable.  It fills a hole in Image continuity that casual readers probably won't even be aware exists, and even if you DO find yourself interested, the story is unfinished.  The art has colors that make your eyes bleed and just makes you wonder how the hell that tiny strip of floss stays in place on Lethal's crotch during battles.  Look. . .never mind.  Just skip this one.  Trust me.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I give this one 2 out of 5 mysteriously clingy strips of spandex.

CONCLUSION

First, I would like to thank my daughter for handing me a batch of comics I couldn't read at work or in front of my wife because of their covers alone.  Expect some form of hilarious (to me) revenge at an unspecified future date long after you've forgotten reading this.

THAT aside, this was a pretty mixed bag.  There were some really unexpected surprises to be found in Oniba and UltraVixen, which were both a lot better than I thought they would be, but the rest were pretty forgettable stories hanging firmly on the hook of the lowest common denominators of sex and violence in the artwork.

Up Next. . .

That's right.  MORE off-brand one shots!  

I'm hoping for less boobs and more story this time.

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - Off-Brand One Shots Part 3

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, where I write reviews of comics that nobody ever asked for!

Recently, the whole "nobody ever asked for" part has been more true than ever as I've been exploring a stack of one shot comics included in a purchase of 2 longboxes full of nothing but random NON-DC/Marvel comics.  I've gotta say. . .digging into those longboxes has definitely been a new experience in obscurity for me.  There's a LOT of stuff I never knew existed just in those two boxes of comics!

ANYWAY. . .

I've been letting my comic lovin' daughter pick the comics I review for these "Off-Brand One Shots" editions of Longbox Junk.  So far, she's done a pretty good job of mixing things up and giving me a nice variety of genres from horror to comedy and everything in between.  Let's see what she gave me this time, shall we?

THE ROCK

CHAOS! COMICS (2001)

THE PEOPLE'S COMIC BOOK!

SCRIPT: Steven Grant

PENCILS: Fabiano Neves

COVER: Photo

THE COVER:

It's a photo cover.  What can I say?  If you're a fan of Dwayne Johnson in his pro-wrestling "The Rock" persona, then this is probably an awesome picture worthy of being part of some sort of shrine.  To me. . .it's just a picture of a younger Dwayne Johnson giving me "The People's Eyebrow".

Moving along. . .

THE STORY:
The Rock is a simple man.  A man of the people.  A man who just wants a little peace between the times he lays the smack down in the wrestling ring.  When The Rock accidentally finds himself caught between two competing illegal underground fight promoters. . .one of which has a fighter pretending to be The Rock, it's time to teach some candy asses their roles!

The Rock invades the underground fight club and shows every Jabronie that dares to step up to him what it means to look upon the glory of the most electrifying presence in sports entertainment.  After defeating all comers. . .as was ordained the moment The Rock entered the building. . .he makes the crooked promoters smell what The Rock is cooking by forcing them to end their pathetic excuse for a tournament unless they want a piece of the people's elbow.

The End.

THE REVIEW:
I have to admit that I'm not a pro wrestling fan.  That said, I had a roommate in the late 90's that was rabid about it, so I'm familiar with it through a bit of osmosis from his constantly watching it.  There's also been a few wrestlers who have broken away from the ring and into the general public consciousness, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is probably the most successful of those, so I know him more than most wrestlers. . .and even then I'm not a big fan.  I'll watch his movies, but I don't go out of my way to see one just because he's in it.

What I'm trying to say is that I came into this comic not as a fan of The Rock, but as a comic fan who got handed a Rock comic by his daughter to review on its own merits.  I could care less about The Rock in general.

THAT SAID. . .

I liked this comic a LOT! Quite a bit more than I thought I would when I got it handed to me and I was like, "Really?"  It's the dialogue that makes this book great.  It's hilarious and over the top all the way through, from page one to page last.  Rock talking about himself in the third person and just blowing past everybody like a force of nature laser-focused on doing whatever the hell he wants to do is just FUN.  This comic is just entertaining fun from start to finish!  A very pleasant surprise.

On the art side of things, this is a pretty well drawn comic.  Not the greatest art I've ever seen, but it's good and at least it captures the likeness of the main character, which is a lot more than can be said for most licensed property comics featuring actual people (I'm looking at YOU Deep Space Nine a couple of reviews below).  There's also a great sense of motion during the action scenes.  The art here is pretty much perfectly matched with the story.

Overall, I was really surprised by how much I liked this comic.  It's fast, it's funny, it's over the top and just plain entertaining.  It's not thoughtful or deep in any way, but sometimes you just want a good simple FUN story.  This comic delivers just that.

THE VERDICT:
I give The Rock 4 out of 5 candy asses taught their roles.

A good start this time out. . .NEXT!

LADY ACTION SPECIAL

MOONSTONE (2009)

SCRIPT: Tony Lee

PENCILS: Jake Minor

COVER: Paul Gulacy

THE COVER:

I like a cover that tells a story and this cover tells me that there's a Lady and there's gonna be some Action!  I have no idea who Lady Action is, but without even opening this comic I can tell that her kind of action involves guns, fast cars, and possibly some sort of kinky uniform-oriented shenanigans when it's all said and done.  I like this cover a lot.  It's not the greatest comic cover I've ever seen (her face and gun hand both look a little strange), but it's nicely done and lets you know what you're in for with one image.

THE STORY:

Nicola Sinclair (AKA Lady Action), an agent of the British A.C.T.I.O.N. Directorate, infiltrates the mansion of crime lord "El Caso" during an exclusive party.  With the assistance of an American A.C.T.I.O.N. agent named Adam, she successfully hacks into El Caso's private computer files and discovers that he has information that only A.C.T.I.O.N. should have.

Nicola's fears of a traitor are proven correct when El Caso and a group of his armed bodyguards arrive to take the British agent prisoner and Adam shows up with them and admits that he's working with El Caso.  As the criminals discuss how to execute her, Nicola causes an explosion and flees the mansion with El Caso's men in hot pursuit.

Lady Action grabs a motorcycle and leads El Caso's men on a running gun battle chase through the surrounding woods.  Nicola encounters Adam and tries to regain the flash drive with El Caso's files on it, but the American Double Agent shoots and kills Nicola as El Caso hovers overhead in a helicopter.

EPILOGUE: Two weeks later Nicola and Adam meet in a Texas diner.  The information theft was a distraction and her death was faked so that Adam could infiltrate deeper into El Caso's organization.  

Adam gives Nicola the information the British Branch was REALLY looking for, gained by El Caso's trust in Adam.  Shortly after Nicola leaves with the files, Adam is shot in the head by one of El Caso's assassins and El Caso is informed that Lady Action is alive and has the stolen information.

To be continued. . .

THE REVIEW:

Not bad.  Not bad at all!  This is a fast-paced, well-written "infiltrate and escape" spy story with a (somewhat predictable, to be honest) double twist.  It makes me want to know what happens next.  That said, even though it's a good story, it's not perfect.

This is firmly connected to the continuity of the Moonstone Captain Action series, so there are quite a few references to characters and events that have taken place "off stage".  There is an assumption that if you're reading Lady Action, then you already know vital Captain Action-related information. . .like what the hell A.C.T.I.O.N. is in the first place! (I had to wiki up and discover that it's sort of like the Mission Impossible Force, but their main enemy are aliens who have infiltrated the world's governments) In other words, there is NO background information here.  This story hits the ground running and stays that way to the end.

On the art side, I like this style a lot.  It has heavy lines, chunky forms, and is just slightly exaggerated with nice bold colors and a great sense of movement.  It's a perfect fit for a fast-moving story like this.  Like a lot of these "Off Brand One Shots" there's a lot more effort and detail put into the female figure than anything else.  This isn't QUITE as boob-tastic as some of them, but you can definitely tell what the artist's favorite thing to draw was.

Overall, I liked this comic a lot.  It has a fun, fast-paced spy story backed up with some good art.  There's no background material, so there's references that don't register well with a new reader like myself, and it has a "to be continued" ending, but that didn't stop me from enjoying this little story.

THE VERDICT:

I give Lady Action 4 out of 5 menacing gunmen.

Two good ones in a row! Let's see if we can keep this going.  NEXT!

STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE -

LIGHTSTORM

MALIBU (1994)

LIGHTSTORM

SCRIPT: Mark Altman

PENCILS: Rob Davis

COVER: Rob Davis

THE COVER:

*Sigh* This again?  Why do you keep doing this to me, Star Trek?

I'm a HUGE Star Trek fan, but Star Trek comics (especially those from the 80's and 90's) have pretty much consistently disappointed me with their art.  It seems like the built-in audience and sales for Star Trek comics leads to a "Minimum Effort" standard.  This cover is no exception.  It's okay. . .but it doesn't look like the artist put any more work into it than he absolutely had to.  And when I see the interiors were done by the same guy, it doesn't give me much confidence.  Here's hoping that at least the story is good.

THE STORY:

After the newly-established Federation colony Gakora in the Gamma Quadrant comes under attack by an unknown enemy, the Klingon cruiser A'v Wi, under the command of Captain Krol, answers the distress call, but finds the colony destroyed and only one human survivor.  Krol decides to take the comatose survivor to the closest Federation base, Deep Space Nine.

Captain Krol is determined to find and destroy the attackers, while Katha, the Imperial Adjunct aboard the A'v Wi, insists on a more diplomatic first contact with the mysterious aliens.  Deep Space Nine Commander Sisko agrees and asks to join the Klingons, along with his science officer, Dax.

Shortly after entering the Gakora system, the Klingon cruiser is attacked, but the attacking ships are technologically inferior and pose little threat.  After opening communication, the alien commander seems to recognize the Klingons as allies and thinks that the humans he sees are prisoners.  He offers to guide the confused Klingon Captain to their base.

After arriving at the alien homeworld and meeting their ruler, Malek, Sisko and Dax are imprisoned and scheduled for execution.  Adjunct Katha and Captain Kol demand an explanation and are told that humans are the enemy of the Myvock people because they violated the ancient holy ground of the planet Gakora.  Katha and Kol become more confused as Malek tells them that he was informed by other Klingons that the alliance between the Federation and Klingon Empire had collapsed.

IN THE MEANTIME. . .

On Deep Space Nine, the human survivor of the Gakora colony regains consciousness and informs Dr. Bashir that after the attack, when the aliens were slaughtering the survivors, they were accompanied by two female Klingons who Bashir realizes match the description of Lursa and B'etor. . .dangerous Klingon sisters who have constantly attempted to erode the Federation/ Klingon alliance.  Doctor Bashir and Chief O'Brien volunteer to travel to Gakora and try to warn Sisko and Dax.

On the Myvock homeworld, Captain Kol and Katha are introduced to Hernai. . .the Myvock military commander who led the attack on Gakora.  Hernai is determined that the execution of Sisko and Dax be carried out as quickly as possible.  Kol and Katha arrange a secret meeting with the humans to tell them that they will not allow them to be executed.  Katha reveals that she's actually a Klingon intelligence agent trying to track down the Klingon sisters Lursa and B'etor and prevent them from selling explosives to Bajoran terrorists.

On Gakora, Bashir and O'Brien are almost immediately captured by Lursa and B'etor while back on the Myvock homeworld, Sisko, Dax, Kol, and Katha confront Malek and inform him that he's being used by Klingon terrorists.  Commander Hernai interrupts and they are all taken prisoner and scheduled for immediate execution, along with Bashir and Dax. . .which reveals that Hernai is working with Lursa and B'etor.  

The Klingon cruiser transports the prisoners out of danger, and they quickly head for Gakora.  Following a battle in mines beneath Gakora, Lursa and B'etor make their escape.  Hernai reveals to Malek that he allowed the sisters to mine beneath their holy ground in exchange for technology to improve their weapons. Malek removes him from military command.  Katha goes in pursuit of Lursa and B'etor while Sisko and Malek make peace between the Myvock and Humans.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

Well now. . .that's a lot of story!  And it's pretty well condensed too.  I left out a couple of sub-plots (Doctor Bashir and the Klingon First Officer Koleth's friendship, for one example.  The simmering conflict between Captain Kol and Katha for command of the Klingon ship is another) and there's STILL eight paragraphs.  So yeah. . .this double-sized comic is definitely on the dialogue-heavy side.

The good news is that the story is very well done.  The writer (who is a pretty prolific author and screenwriter. . .including a two-volume 50 year history of Star Trek) very accurately captures the voices and personalities of the Deep Space Nine characters in such a way that this comic reads like it could EASILY be the script for a Deep Space Nine episode set in the first season of the show.  You can almost feel where the commercial breaks are supposed to go!  This is great read for Deep Space Nine fans like myself.

Unfortunately. . .there's the art.

Once again, a Star Trek comic fumbles the ball with the art.  It's clunky and uninspired from cover to last page.  The artist mostly fails to capture the likeness of the T.V. characters and backgrounds are minimal to non-existent.  There's just a feeling that not much effort was put into this. . .which is a damn shame, considering the really good writing.  With a little more effort on the art, this COULD have been a great comic. 

Overall, this comic is the definition of conflicted.  On one hand, you have a good story that absolutely captures the essence and voices of established Deep Space Nine characters and reads like a "Lost Episode" of the first season of the series.  On the other hand, you have clunky, uninspired art that demonstrates a "minimum effort" standard that is just one notch away from being outright bad. 

THE VERDICT:

I'll give this one a half and half score of 3 out of 5 bowls of Gagh (served live, of course)

AND FINALLY. . .

ENTER THE ZOMBIE

ANTARCTIC PRESS (2010)

ZOMBIES OF SHAOLIN

SCRIPT: Fred Perry & Robby Bevard

PENCILS: Ben Dunn

COVER: Brian Denham

THE COVER: 

I wish I'd had this comic when I was pulling covers for my Halloween comic display on my office "Wall O' Covers".  It's chaotic and crazy in a good way.  I like the colors a lot, especially the plain green background that really sets everything against it quite nicely.  The gigantic nasty smile on the featured Kung Fu zombie is creepy and hilarious at the same time!  It's not the greatest comic cover I've ever seen, but I like it!

THE STORY:

A talented but impatient young American Shaolin trainee is denied the chance to take the initiation test.  His master explains that decades of training lie in front of the young man before he can take the test. After learning the location of a hidden forbidden chamber on the Temple grounds, the student becomes convinced it holds the secrets of martial arts mastery he needs to take the initiation test.

Disobeying the command of his Master to not disturb the chamber, the student opens the sealed door and accidentally unleashes 36 evil, undead spirits that quickly begin to possess the rest of the students in the Temple. . .turning them into Kung Fu Zombies!

A friendly guardian spirit also released from the chamber informs the student that only HE can return the evil spirits to the chamber, because he was the one who released them.  The student gathers his courage and sets off to prove that he's worthy!

After fighting his way through the possessed students to come to his teacher's aid, the student is surprised to find that his Master had used him to open the chamber's seal and betray the Shaolin Temple to the evil spirits.  The battle between them is short and the student is easily defeated, but the Guardian Spirit infuses the student with the power of the SENTAI SHAOLIN TIGER!  

Transforming into a heroic, armored figure, the empowered student defeats his former Master and the rest of the evil spirits before changing back into a powerless young man.  The Guardian Spirit tells him that he is now the Guardian of the Secret Chamber.

Years later, the student has become the teacher.  A young, impatient student of his discovers the location of the Secret Chamber. . .

The End?

THE REVIEW:

Not bad.  Not bad at all!  This is an extremely fast-reading and stripped-down story that moves quickly from Point A to Point B to Point C without anything to slow it down.  This is a lean story that is over before you know it.  I literally finished this comic in five minutes.

But even though this is an extremely simple and action-heavy story, I liked it.  It's quick and entertaining.  It's not a great story.  It might not even be good, when you think about it.  It's like comic book junk food.  You know it's not really great, but before you know it, you're done with the whole thing and you sort of want some more.

Ben Dunn is actually an artist I like a lot.  I'm always happy to see his name on a comic.  I appreciate his (and Antarctic) bringing the Manga style to an American audience.  It's not my favorite style, but I like it in small doses now and then.  This is a pretty straightforward, no-frills example of that American Manga style.  It helps the fast-paced story move quickly across the page, and it's very nicely done.  

Overall, this is pretty much what I call a "junk food comic".  Sure, there's better comics out there, but sometimes you just want a little bit of fun entertainment that might not be what other people would call great, but screw those people.  Not everything has to be great.  This is just a fast-paced, fun little story.  Nothing more, nothing less.

THE VERDICT:

I'll give this one 4 out of 5 poorly-dubbed episodes of One Piece.

CONCLUSION

Well now. . .THAT was an unexpected surprise.  This handful of "Off-Brand One Shots" my daughter gave me was actually pretty darn good!  Except for the extremely weak art on Deep Space Nine (But that's par for the course on almost ANY 80's or 90's Star Trek comic, to be fair) there's not much bad to say about any of these.  That doesn't happen very often.  

Up Next. . .

Plenty more Off-Brand One Shots in the pile. 

Let's see what my daughter hands me next!

Be there or be square.

Longbox Junk - Off-Brand One Shots Part 2

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, the place to find all the comic reviews that nobody ever asked for!

This time out, I'm going to take a look at another handful of one shot issues that were included with my recent purchase of a massive pile (about 600 issues) of non-DC/Marvel comics.  I've let my daughter pick the ones to review, and I have to say that I was a little disappointed with what she gave me last time.

I'm crossing my fingers for better luck with this batch. . .so enough introduction, let's get right into it!

NITROGEN

Arcade Comics (2005)

SCRIPT: Rob Liefeld & Brandon Thomas

PENCILS: Jon Malin

COVER: Jon Malin

THE COVER:

Hmmm. . .okay.  Not bad.  Not great, but it's pretty good in that signature "in your face" 90's-Tastic way.  Rob Liefeld is the writer on this one and not the artist, but I can definitely see his influence here in all the straps, spikes, giant guns and all around shiny metal look of things. . .as well as in the general composition and posing of the characters.  This cover simply screams "THE 90'S!!" at me. 

Wait.  What?  This comic isn't from the 90's, it's from 2005? Ohhhhhh. . .okay then.  My mistake. Ha-Ha! You got me!  Heh. . .heh.  *sigh*  Let's take a look inside.

THE STORY:

The Nitros, a team of young superpowered heroes, have rebelled against the morals of the past generation of heroes that taught them to use their powers for the good of humanity.  Instead they have embraced the path of power and follow the commands of hero-turned villain Zang.

Under Zang's ruthless leadership, the younger generation uses their intimate knowledge of the older heroes to easily defeat them. . .but in their overconfidence, they don't understand that there were things that the older generation never taught them or told them about because they were too dangerous.

One of the few remaining heroes of the past uses this knowledge and desperately opens a hole in the time-space continuum through which a horde of strange beings come through to confront the young rebels.

The End. . .to be continued?

THE REVIEW:

As I read this comic, I was struck by the similarities between it and "Jupiter's Legacy", by Mark Millar and Frank Quitely. . .which came out 8 years after this in 2013.  The resemblance is mostly in the subject of a younger generation of heroes turning against their mentors, and Jupiter's Legacy is a superior look at the subject, but I still found it pretty interesting to see a Rob Liefeld-written version of Jupiter's Legacy that came out a decade earlier.

THAT SAID. . .

Rob Liefeld isn't exactly known for his great writing, and he's certainly no Mark Millar.  The writing on this isn't great. It's not awful, but it's not great. It's just sort of "pretty good".  Reading this will take you right back to the 90's like it's a paper time machine.  People shout about their powers to each other in the middle of fights, for example.

I have to admit that the plot itself was pretty interesting if you can look past all the shouting, but even though it ends on a "To Be Continued" note, this is it.  It seems to be the first issue of an unfinished project.  Sort of a shame because there's actually some potential to be good here.

As far as the art goes. . .it's even more of a trip back to the 90's "We want to be like Marvel!" Image team books than the writing.  Rob Liefeld isn't given any art credit here, but he probably should have been for inspiration alone!

Like the cover, Liefeld's influence is all over the place in the exaggerated proportions, overly-elaborate costumes, spiky hair, and constantly-exposed teeth of the characters. The pages are so cluttered with action that it's sometimes hard to keep track of what's going on.  The art is actually well done for what it is.  Simply put it's 90's-Tastic in every good AND bad way that it can be. 

Overall, I actually enjoyed this one.  It's not the best-written comic ever, but it does have a decent premise, some nice 90's-style art, and the potential to be a good story.  Unfortunately, this is all there is of it, so there's really no way to see where it went.

THE VERDICT:

I'll give this one 3 out of 5 costumes with useless straps and gigantic shoulder pads.

NEXT!

MASTER DARQUE

Valiant (1998)

SCRIPT: Christina Z.

PENCILS: Leonardo Manco

COVER: Leonardo Manco

THE COVER:

I'm a big fan of Leonardo Manco's art, and seeing his name on the cover of this makes me very happy. . .BUT. . .this cover isn't his best work.  It's dark and muddled and the main character's face just looks strange.  There's a lot of wasted space in the frame and logo area. This isn't the kind of cover that makes me want to buy a comic book. I hope whatever's inside is better. Let's check it out!

THE STORY:
When a desperate young man seeks aid from the mysterious Alexandre Darque to save his dying mother, he is taken on a nightmarish and dangerous journey to the darkest edges of the Valiant Universe to retrieve three artifacts.

Unfortunately, even though his mother is saved, he learns that he was just a pawn in Darque's twisted games.  The artifacts he risked his sanity for weren't to save his mother at all, but to give Darque a glimpse into the future end of the world and what part Alexandre Darque will play in it.

The End. . .to be continued.

THE REVIEW:
Like Nitrogen above, I was actually reminded of another story while reading this hefty double-sized issue.  This time it was DC's 1990 Books of Magic mini-series, where fledgling magician Timothy Hunter is led through the occult side of the DC Universe by characters like John Constantine and Phantom Stranger, with cameos of various other DC mystic characters along the way.

The mysterious, mystical, self-serving title character resembles John Constantine in a very obvious way (even in appearance).  The resemblance is barely copyright-dodging enough that this could have EASILY been a Hellblazer comic as Darque leads an unsuspecting young man through mystical realms and meets characters like Shadowman, The Eternal Warrior, and Turok.

Setting aside the very obvious. . .I'll kindly call them "influences". . . this isn't a bad story at all.  Like Books of Magic, it serves as a good introduction to the dark corners of Valiant's recently (at the time) rebooted universe through the eyes of a relatable non-powered character.  The ending makes it clear that there is a lot more to the tale (there was a follow-up 4 issue series called Darque Passages), but despite that, this is a complete and pretty enjoyable story in itself.

When talking about the cover above, I mentioned that I'm a fan of Leonardo Manco's art, but that the cover was disappointing.  The good news is that the interior art here is simply amazing!  Manco's signature darkly-inked and supremely-detailed style is definitely the star of THIS show, and (in my extremely humble opinion) is reason enough alone to pick this comic up!  Just look at the awesome full-pager above and know that Manco was the PERFECT artist for a story like this.

Overall, even though the story is highly derivative of Books of Magic and the main character is a discount version of John Constantine, I liked this issue for the guided tour through the dark side of the Valiant Universe.  Throw in some fantastic artwork that fits the mystical and sometimes horrific story perfectly and this one's a winner!

THE VERDICT:

I'll give this one 4 out of 5 copyright-dodging differences.

NEXT!

SHOTGUN MARY:

SON OF THE BEAST

Antarctic Press (1997)

SCRIPT: Miki (Miljenko) Horvatic

PENCILS: Esad Ribic

COVER: Esad Ribic

THE COVER:

Yep. . .there it is, front and center, folks. The Boo-Tay! 

I actually like this cover quite a bit for the way the main character is contrasted against a plain background.  I've always liked covers that use this method.  Shotgun Mary is nicely-painted and detailed as well. I also like the unusual pose of her looking over her shoulder.  I'd let this one take a turn on my rotating "Wall O' Covers" on my office wall at work, but I don't feel like having to go to an awkward HR appointment to talk about it.

BONUS: Good News! I seem to have come into an extremely-limited "Gold Seal" Variant of this comic, of which I am now the proud owner of 1 of only 100 copies out there!  The bad news is that nobody cares and it's still not worth a damn (less than 10 bucks). *sigh*  Moving along. . .

THE STORY:

Renegade former Warrior Nun "Shotgun" Mary Delacroix follows a trail of victims with their hearts torn out into the desolate desert after learning that the sacrificial murders are meant to attract her attention.  After purposely walking into a demon's trap, Mary is offered a chance to join the forces of hell.  She declines with a combination of faith and firepower, defeating the demon and moving on to the next target in her lonely mission. . .

The End.

THE REVIEW:

I'm familiar with Shotgun Mary from Antarctic's "Warrior Nun" comics, and I generally like the character.  She's a bit derivative of Marvel's Punisher, but with a Catholic religious angle that sets her against demons instead of criminals.  

This one shot puts Mary in full violent "Religious Punisher" mode in a fast-reading, action-heavy story that moves from point A to B to C very quickly and without any background material at all. . .so this one is NOT for new readers, but for existing fans.  If you don't already know what Shotgun Mary is about, this ain't the place to start.  

That said, despite the extremely thin story, I liked this quite a bit.  It's fast. . .it's simple. . .it's not deep or complicated.  It's Shotgun Mary purposely walking into a trap in order to kill a demon.  That's it.  Sometimes you just want a simple story and this one shot serves up just that.

On the art side of things, I was pleasantly surprised to find this to be a fully-painted comic.  I'm a bit more used to Manga-Style artwork in Antarctic comics. . .especially their earlier offerings from the 90's.  The art here is nicely-detailed and richly-colored.  It's not the BEST painted art I've ever seen, but it looks great and definitely takes the issue up a notch in quality.

Overall, this is a fast-paced and simple page-turner with some unusual (for Antarctic) painted art.  As an existing fan of the main character, I liked it quite a bit.  If you're not familiar with Shotgun Mary, this isn't a great introduction.

THE VERDICT:

I'll give this one 4 out of 5 scorched Rosary Beads.

AND FINALLY. . .

LITA FORD

Rock-It Comix (1993)

THE QUEEN OF HEAVY METAL

SCRIPT: Lita Ford, Laurel Fishman & Roland Mann

PENCILS: Jim Balent

COVER: Jim Balent

THE COVER:

Allrighty, then! It's a nicely painted depiction of 80's rocker Lita Ford proudly showing off the OTHER two reasons she's famous beyond her ONE hit song! Okay, two songs. . .if you count her sappy duet with Ozzy Osbourne where he's singing like he's reluctantly paying up on a lost bet.

I have to admit that this IS a pretty damn metal cover.  Too bad Lita Ford ain't metal. Still, I'm liking  all the skulls and the general throwback album cover look of it. Wait. . .is that a goddamn WIENER DOG bottom left? What the hell?

BONUS: 

Good news! My copy of this comic is signed by writer Roland Mann. 

Bad News! A signed copy of this comic STILL isn't worth crap!

THE STORY:

Shortly before a concert at Madison Square Garden, rocker Lita Ford breaks her guitar but is given a new one by a mysterious stranger who claims the guitar has unusual powers.  In the meantime, Libby Snore. . .head of the P.M.R.C. and wife of Congressman Al Snore. . .is plotting to destroy the sinful Lita Ford at the very same concert.

As Lita and her band take the stage, Libby Snore uses black magic to open a gate to hell, releasing demons that possess her Young Republican followers. . .who attack the band and their fans.  As the demons attack, Lita's guitar transforms her into a heavy metal super-hero!

Using her new powers, Lita is able to defeat the Young Republican Demons and confront Libby Snore, forcing her to close the gate to hell.  Lita transforms back to her regular self and Libby Snore promptly has her arrested for starting a riot.  Lita's manager bails her out of jail and we are assured that the story hasn't ended yet.

The End. . .to be continued?

THE REVIEW:

Oh Lawd.  What the hell did I just read? 

I don't even know where to begin with just how bad this is, but here goes. 

At the heart of it, this is less of a story and more of a protest rant against the PMRC, which (for anyone under the age of 45 reading this) was an organization started in 1985 by Elizabeth (Libby) Gore that is responsible for those "Parental Advisory" labels that still adorn album covers today and the main censorship supervillain for heavy metal and rap music at the time.  

The PMRC is practically forgotten today, except in some songs from the era protesting it and relics like this comic.  But at the time, it was a pretty big deal complete with congressional hearings and all the associated hoopla censorship generally garners when it rears its ugly head in the US of A.

In other words, this is a comic that is stuck so firmly in a specific political moment in time that it's practically unreadable today.  It doesn't help that even if it wasn't a heavy-handed censorship protest thinly disguised as a comic book, it's very poorly written.  The "plot" is forced to fit the message instead of writing the story around the message in a more natural way.

Things happen for no reason except to address specific points of PMRC censorship, so the whole thing just feels forced and preachy. . .which is just strange for something that's supposedly AGAINST an organization that's forced and preachy!  

To make matters worse, unless you're someone who even REMEMBERS the PMRC, what little narrative drive this comic does have will be completely meaningless because all that's left of the PMRC are those little parental advisory stickers.

As far as the art goes. . .it's okay.  It tells the story, but beyond a hard focus on Lita Ford's mostly-naked body, there's nothing remarkable about it.  It's not the worst art I've ever seen, but it certainly doesn't try too hard either.  

Overall, this comic book is a sort of embarrassing relic of the time.  It features a one hit wonder fighting against a censorship organization that nobody cares about today and leans pretty heavily on being full of pictures of a scantily-clad woman drawn in an extremely average way.  Just read Red Sonja instead. . .at least you usually get a decent story that doesn't preach at you along with your sexy pictures. 

Beyond the story, there's a pretty extensive interview with Lita Ford that's actually pretty interesting, as well as a discography. . .who knew she had enough songs to fill not one, but TWO "greatest hits" albums?  So if you're a Lita Ford fan, you might get some extra mileage out of this.  But if you just grab this from the bargain bin because of the boob-tastic cover and expect a good story or great art, you're gonna be pretty disappointed.

THE VERDICT:

I give this one 1 out of 5 spiky leather bras.

CONCLUSION

Hoo-Boy.  My daughter gave me a mixed bag with this batch!  

I'd say the theme this time was reading one thing and being reminded of another.  From Nitrogen being a 90's-Tastic Liefeld version of Jupiter's Legacy, to Master Darque being THIS close to being a Valiant version of Books of Magic starring a bargain bin John Constantine, to Shotgun Mary basically being a Religious Female version of The Punisher that kills demons instead of criminals.  

Of the four, I'd say my favorite was Master Darque.  Yeah. . .it's really close to being a straight up copy of Books of Magic, but that Leonardo Manco art though!  The worst was Lita Ford.  It's amazing just HOW bad that comic is.  But that one bad apple aside, the other three were actually decent reads.

Up Next. . .

God only knows what my daughter will give me next.  

MORE off-brand one shots!

Be there or be square.