Longbox Junk - The Six Million Dollar Man: Fall of Man

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, the place to find all the comic reviews you never asked for!

"Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive."

"We can rebuild him. We have the technology.

We can make him better than he was.

Better. . .stronger. . .faster."

As a child of the 70's I was a big fan of all things Bionic Man (Yeah, yeah. . .I know the title of the show was "The Six Million Dollar Man", but on the playground it was always The Bionic Man). Thinking back on it, I truly believe he was the ultimate 70's superhero. . .a creation of science with the soul of a man. 

Science today is taken for granted. I don't mean to make myself sound old, but when I was a kid in the 70's, Astronauts were still the great American Hero. The moon landings were still fresh in the collective memory. The world was on the edge of major change and advances in technology.

A modern Bionic Man is just one high tech thing among many. But in the 70's Steve Austin wasn't just some T.V. character to me and my friends. . .he was OUR hero for OUR time. A scientific superhero that we could believe was possible in a way that we never really could with someone like Superman.

Steve Austin didn't wear tights, but he always did what he thought was right, even if it meant going against the orders of his superiors. In MY book, that makes him just as much a superhero as ANY cape-wearin' crimefighter and I'll argue that point all day long.

So did this fairly recent Dynamite Six Million Dollar Man mini hold up to my fond memory of that uniquely 70's superhero? Well. . .yes and no. Read on!

THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN: 

FALL OF MAN 

Dynamite (2016)

WRITER: Van Jensen

ART: Ron Salas

COVERS: Ron Salas

ISSUE ONE

CURSED IS THE GROUND

I really like that this story takes place right where it should. . .the late 1970's. A lot of times, writers will try to move characters forward into modern times, but there are certain characters who need to stay put. Lone Ranger and Zorro need to be in the 1800's. The Shadow is best in the 1930's. Green Hornet in the 1940-50's. The Bionic man is best in the 1970's as a high tech anomaly in a world on the edge of becoming high tech.

Really, the fact that Steve Austin IS an unexplained anomaly is the point of this story so far. Nobody really knows WHY out of all the subjects for the top secret project that made him the Bionic Man he is the only one that was successful.

When Austin finds out just HOW many others died during the project, he goes rogue to try and keep himself away from the government, who see him as their property and the key to building an army of bionic men like him.

This first issue is a great setup to what looks like it will be an interesting story.

BUT. . .

The art is barely functional and is pretty stiff in some places. The artist doesn't really capture the likeness of Lee Majors at all. It might be a licensing thing, but it's still a bit disappointing.

And then there's the ending cliffhanger. . .Steve Austin attacked by ninjas out of nowhere and saved by a billionaire with. . .LASER EYES! With such a great start, I was disappointed with the silliness of the ending.

That's a LOT of ninjas!

All in all, despite the clunky art and the silly cliffhanger ending, I liked this first issue. I just hope the ninjas and laser eyes don't signal a quick swerve off the rails. . .

NEXT!

ISSUE TWO

MAMA RUSSIA

Awwwww. . .no.

Second issue in and we're going off the rails. 

Steve Austin is offered a chance to become fully human again, but the catch is that he has to go into Soviet Germany and retrieve a Maguffin.

The whole issue is pretty much a long fight scene between Austin, clones and a giant lobster monster created in a mad scientist's laboratory. After a great first issue setup. Mutant Lobster Monsters?

Please.

No.

Putting aside the mad scientist's cloned monstrosities for a moment, the thing that made me roll my eyes in this issue is how random people keep mistaking Steve Austin for David Hasselhoff and making a big deal of it.

Of course, this plays off on the old meme that Hasselhoff is a huge star in Germany. But that particular meme is from the 90's, not the 70's. Hasselhoff wasn't even famous ANYWHERE until the 80's. Every time someone yells "It's The Hoff!", it clunks like a broken gear.

From out of place memes to cloned lobster monsters, this was not a good issue at all. Steve Austin deserves better than this. I deserve better than this. The world deserves better than this.

NEXT!

ISSUE THREE

THE TRAIN

I really liked the whole art direction on this one! The issue is pretty much all a running battle on top of and inside of a speeding train. The artist draws cutaway panels showing the simultaneous action above and below as a fluid, moving stream of action. This is presented through the whole comic as double-page spreads.

It's a really great idea, but the artist isn't really skilled enough to completely pull it off. In the hands of a better artist, it would be amazing. Still, credit where credit is due for at least TRYING to elevate things a bit.

And then the good stops when the giant lobster monster re-appears with the mad scientist riding on its back shooting a machine gun and shouting "Death to Capitalism!" Please. . .just stop. This isn't what I want in a Six Million Dollar Man story.

All in all, credit due for an interesting storytelling device with the art, but there's not much more to like about this issue. Moving along. . .

ISSUE FOUR

ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?

This issue was half and half good and bad. The good starts with a VERY nice cover!

Now that the lobster monster and Hasselhoffing shenanigans in Soviet Germany are done, the writer turns his attention toward the government conspiracy (introduced in the first issue) to use Steve Austin as the key to creating an army of thinking bionic men.

It turns out that Austin's new billionaire "friend" who has been "hiding" him from the government is ACTUALLY in league with the government to gain his confidence in order to find out what makes him tick. The plotting and conspiracy moves at the beginning are actually pretty good.

UNTIL. . .

We find out the woman Austin is falling in love with is a robot. And that a robot has infiltrated the O.S.I. (the organization that Austin works for). EVERYONE TURNS OUT TO BE A FRIGGIN' ROBOT! Okay, not EVERYONE, but there's quite a bit of ridiculous robotic revelation in this issue.

That's LOT of Robots!

Turns out the government has plenty of robots on hand, but they want thinking bionic men instead. Their only functioning Bionic Man isn't cooperating, so the government finally send out the 'bots to capture Steve Austin so they can take him apart the hard way.

All in all, it starts out nicely with conspiracy and politics, and ends up with a whole lot of robot punching. Way too much robot punching.

AND FINALLY. . .

ISSUE FIVE

AUTOPSY

And now, the big finish! Things start off on a good foot with another great cover.

Inside, it's pretty much all out action as Austin escapes from captivity, friends become enemies, enemies become friends, lots of robots are punched, Steve Austin chooses to take control of his own destiny, and things explode!

All in all, this story is nicely wrapped up in this issue, with Austin and O.S.I. both coming to realize that man is what makes the machine, NOT the other way around. . .that the secret of the Bionic Man is that Steve Austin himself is a hero and always will be. It's not something that can ever be duplicated in a laboratory or mass-produced.

A very nice conclusion to a story that's been pretty disappointing. I'm glad that series FINALLY delivered on the idea of Steve Austin being the hero I remember him to be. Too bad it had to come in the last issue.

CONCLUSION

Overall, despite the borderline bad art and some eye-rolling story beats (Lobster Monsters, Hasselhoffing, Almost everyone turning out to be a robot, etc. . .) I enjoyed this mini. It's far from the best comic story I've ever read, but it had enough decent moments to keep it from being completely bad.

BUT. . .that enjoyment was based on my existing love for this character.

I'm not sure I would heartily suggest it to anybody who wasn't alive in the 70's or isn't already a big Bionic Man fan. This is a pretty bad introduction to the character for new readers.

I think that (like I said above), Steve Austin is a man of his own time. Today, he's just another high tech hero among many, and to tell the truth, this mini wasn't impressive enough to make him stand out of the crowd like he did during the 70's.

I don't think this series did the character justice at all. It was okay, and there were a few moments where it became "Pretty Good", but it never really elevated itself beyond that. The art was pretty bad through the whole thing and the story never completely came together. This is another fine example of something that needed a stronger creative team.

As a fan of The Six Million Dollar Man, I'm sad to say that this was pretty disappointing, but still worth a read. If you're not a fan already, you'll probably be better off skipping it entirely.

Up Next. . .

With all the bad news in the world today, how about we lighten things up just a bit with some Spider-Man? Join me as I take a look at Marvel's five issue " Marvel Age: Spider-Man Team-Up" series.

It's everyone's favorite wall-crawler teaming up with The Fantastic Four, Kitty Pryde, Captain America, Rogue, Storm, and Thor! SPOILER ALERT: It's good old-fashioned four color FUN!

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - Fantastic Four: First Family

Welcome to another Longbox Junk "Rescue Review"!  

I'm blowing the dust off of some older reviews I wrote for a very well known comic site that isn't really focused on comics as much as they once were.  Why let these go to waste hidden in a hard to navigate archive when they can still be relevant to bargain bin diggin' comic fans such as you and me?

This time out, I'm putting a bit of spit shine on a Marvel miniseries featuring one of my least favorite superhero teams. . .The Fantastic Four.  

Now before you get out the torches and pitchforks, don't get me wrong.  I don't HATE the FF, but like I say in my original intro below, I just prefer more "grounded" superheroes (Like Zorro and The Spirit) and sort of don't like superhero "Team" books in general.  

But that's what's great about comics. . .there's something for everyone!  If YOU like Fantastic Four, get down with some Fantastic Four!  I'll be over here with a big cheesy grin reading Green Hornet.

That said, the whole point of Longbox Junk is to present things that people might otherwise pass over . . .and that goes for ME as well.  So even though I'm not a fan of Fantastic Four, does that mean I'm just going to wave off some Fantastic Four comics in my collection like they're not worthy of my attention?  HELL NO!  Let's do this!

ORIGINAL INTRO:

IT'S REVIEWIN' TIME!

Let me get this out right up front. I'm not a huge fan of most "mainstream" superheroes. That's not to say I don't like superheroes at all. . .it's just that I prefer the more "street level" or realistic (as realistic as comics can be anyway) heroes. 

About the only "Traditional" or "Mainstream" superheroes I follow on a regular basis are Batman and Captain America. . .both relatively low power when it comes to comics. I like heroes like Daredevil, Zorro, The Rocketeer, Green Hornet, The Spirit, and so on and so forth.

The point is that except for this mini and a giant-size Marvel from the 70's (The Fabulous Fantastic Four), and a random issue here and there, I don't read or collect Fantastic Four, and I don't even really like them. I don't HATE them, it's just that  I can be perfectly fine as a comic fan without ever buying a single issue of Fantastic Four.

That said, I'm willing to give ANY comic a fair shake.  Let's do it!

ON A RE-READ, I PRETTY MUCH STILL AGREE WITH THE REVIEW AS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN, SO EXCEPT FOR A BIT OF POLISH, SOME PICTURES, AND CREATOR CREDITS, IT'S ABOUT THE SAME AS WHEN IT WAS FIRST PUBLISHED.

FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST FAMILY

Marvel (2006)

SCRIPTS:  Joe Casey

PENCILS: Chris Weston

COVERS: Chris Weston

ISSUE 1

"THERE WAS A CRASH. . ."

I REALLY enjoyed this first issue! 

I was very surprised to find myself enjoying it so much. For starters, the art is fantastic. . .the cover in particular, with Johnny Storm giving Reed Richards the bunny ears in a group photo. Other standout art moments are of Reed Richards and Ben Grimm shortly after their definitely NOT approved test flight and cosmic irradiation when they were still under government quarantine. Very nicely done! It really gave an image of just how unusual these people appeared to others. 

The writing was stellar as well. . .I could feel Ben Grimm's heartbreak when his girlfriend rejected him and ran away. For a comic to make me feel something like that is truly unusual. Very well done on this first issue!

But can the creative team keep it up? It's only 6 issues. My fingers are crossed. . .

ISSUE 2

COSMIC RAY RAMPAGE

Okay. . .so after a stellar introduction, it starts getting a bit "super-hero-y" as the FF fight together as a team for the first time against an escapee from the same detention facility where they are being held. They fail pretty hard because they still aren't used to their powers or how to work together. 

We start to see tension straining at them as Reed wants them to be one big happy family and the others aren't so sure. To make matters worse, Reed has another detainee in his head. . .a psionic psychotic who used their battle as a distraction to escape.

Plus the "team" goes on their first mission (mostly unseen, except for their report afterwards) for the government to Monster Island to fight The Mole Man.  It's a 60's-Tastic callback to their original origin story!

The art is still great, with the exception of Sue Storm. 

There are places where her face just looks. . .weird. 

I can't believe this mini is dipping on the SECOND issue. 

What started as an excellent introduction and updated origin story is turning into a punch-em-up.

ISSUE 3

THE HOMECOMING DANCE

This issue was half and half for me. . .I liked that they got back to the more personal side of people who just had their whole lives changed and how they deal with it. I didn't like the punchfest battle with a giant lizard in the streets of New York. 

Ben Grimm goes back to one of his old hangouts and finds out there's no way he can go back to his old friends and ways. Johnny Storm does the same thing and finds himself being treated like a hometown hero. I loved the opposition of the two stories!

 Reed Richards and Sue Storm also find themselves at odds because Reed wants to concentrate on the new team and Sue wants to try to continue with their plans to get married. Not as good as the other stories, but I still liked it.

Overall, this issue was superior to the second one, but not as good as the first. The art is still outstanding, once again the exception being Sue Storm's face. It seems the artist can't get a handle on her for some reason. . .

ISSUE 4

THE TIES THAT BIND

I really liked this issue for its lack of punching and having some great story content.

Reed Richards sees both his team and his life falling apart. Ben Grimm refuses to accept what he's become. Johnny Storm lets his newfound fame go to his head. Sue Storm is totally pissed that Reed cares more about the idea of being a superhero than about her. 

There's a real feeling of tension in this issue. And then there's the psychotic guy who keeps invading Reed's thoughts who finally decides that he's done trying to get Reed to see things his way and declares that he is now their enemy.

Not a bad issue at all. You really get the feeling of a team/family on the edge of breaking up. 

The art seems to be slipping a bit for some reason.  The team is still the same, but there's a slightly different look.  Unfortunately, the artist still can't draw Sue Storm consistently. On page 5 there's 3 views of her face and none of them look like the same woman, except for the blonde hair. The one at the bottom is really bad. But oddly enough, everything else looks great, especially like the fire effect on Johnny Storm.

ISSUE 5

"COLD, HARD. . ."

Okay, NOW we go off the rails.

In the run-up to the final issue, there's some decent story moments. . .Johnny Storm letting fame go to his head and almost killing some thieves in his overconfidence. . .Sue Storm having lonely woman rage over her fiancee not paying attention to her. . . Reed giving up on the team and going to confront their new enemy on his own. . . The rest of them realizing they totally suck on their own and going after Reed to help him.

But aside from those story moments, the rest is a confusing mess as Reed joins in psychic battle inside a cosmic radiation-infused crystal that a rapidly-mutating psycho that's been in Reed's head wants to blow up and radiate thousands of people.

 He also turns the guards at the base where the crystal is at into superhuman mutated monstrosities to fight the other three members of the FF in the real world as they fly into battle in what must be the lamest superhero vehicle in comic book history. 

Okay. . .did you get all that? I guess the origin is done and it's time to punch things.

ISSUE 6

SIGNS AND SALVATION

The final issue is a hot mess. 

It's split between the mental battle of Richards vs. Stahl in the radioactive crystal, where Reed proves it's not his stretchy limbs that make him awesome, but his big brain. . .and in the real world where the others take on extremely punchable monsters and prove that teamwork is the way to go! 

After the battle is won, Reed uses his big brain to realize his fiancee is unhappy and gives her a shiny ring to distract from her misery. And THAT's why they call him Mister Fantastic!

At the end of the story, it's all smiles as they fly in to battle yet ANOTHER giant monster in New York in their awesome new official uniforms and the world's worst-looking flying machine. 

Seriously. . .even Orion in his stupid Astro-Harness is laughing at the Fantasti-car.

CONCLUSION

And there it is. . .Fantastic Four: First Family. The tale of 4 people coming together as a team and ignoring the laughter of a college kid on a Segway as they fly overhead in the lamest vehicle in New York City.

It came to a  pretty weak ending after a strong start, but I have to say that overall I liked most of this series. I wasn't a fan of the Fantastic Four coming in, and this didn't change my mind, but it had some really good story moments before they decided it HAD to end with a big battle. The artwork through the series was outstanding, except for a bit of trouble with Sue Storm's face.

 All in all, I'd definitely suggest this book to fans of Fantastic Four or to someone wanting to know about the Fantastic Four without wading through 50 years worth of comic history.  If I were interested in The Fantastic Four, I'd probably call this a pretty good starting point.

2019 CONCLUSION UPDATE

Although I generally agree with the review as originally written, on a second reading I see that I MIGHT have been a bit harsh on some of the later issues.  They're still a mess, but not really as bad a mess as I originally thought.  

Yes, the ending is still weak. . .as if after coming in strong on the back of updating the FF's original origin story, the writer couldn't really get a good handle on where to go from there when adding original material.  Yes, the art swerves in quality from "WOW!" to "What?", sometimes in the same issue.

BUT. . .

As a standalone introduction to the Fantastic Four, I don't really think you could do much better than this.  There are some REALLY good story moments to be found before it all collapses into punching things, and when the artist is hitting the mark, he REALLY hits the mark.  

Up Next. . .

More superhero action as we switch over to Marvel's Distinguished Competition! 

DC's Oracle: The Cure 3 issue mini.

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - New Wave + Batman/ Doc Savage Special

Welcome back to another Longbox Junk "Rescue Review"!  I'm blowing the dust off of some older reviews of mine that I did for a very well-known comic site that doesn't really care much about actual comics any more and putting them back in the sight of people that still LIKE comic books right here at Longbox Junk.

This review is one I was REALLY interested in revisiting.  I have a real love of comic heroes that are more on the human side of the equation.  Less SUPER-Hero and more Super-HERO as it were.

The Shadow. . .Captain America. . .Green Hornet. . .Zorro. . .Tarzan. . .Conan. . .Punisher. . .Black Widow. . .Lone Ranger. . .The Question. . .Sgt. Rock. . .The Spirit, and Batman (among others).  The last two characters are major stars in the comics at hand, which were the initial offerings from DC in a short-lived effort to create a new "pulp" comic universe with more "grounded" heroes such as those I mentioned above.  Given my love of more human superheroes, one would THINK that "First Wave" (DC's name for their new universe) would be just what the doctor ordered.

BUT. . .

Yeah.  Unfortunately, there's almost always a "But".

Although I REALLY liked the Spirit ongoing series that came out of First Wave (possibly coming to Longbox Junk at some point), there wasn't much else to it.  The aforementioned Spirit series (17 issues), a Doc Savage series (also 17 issues) and the following First Wave 6 issue mini and Batman/ Doc Savage Special.  Only 41 comics over one single year and then the First Wave Universe just sort of went away without anybody really noticing, and hasn't been revisited since.

I'm not sure exactly what happened, since I can find very little information on First Wave on the internet beyond a bit of sketchy outline. . .mostly having to do with the Spirit and Doc Savage series.  The IDEA was solid.  There was a LOT of premium talent on board.  It SHOULD have worked.  But First Wave came and went with barely a blip on comic history's radar.

So like I said above. . .this was an older review that I really wanted to re-visit.  I was pretty harsh on New Wave at the time.  On reading the review again, I now wonder if I was a little TOO harsh.  Once again, this was a review I wrote at a time when I was becoming disillusioned at working for a major comic site and I sort of can see some of that bitterness coming through many of the reviews I wrote during that time.

The thing is that I absolutely LOVE the idea of a 1930's - style gun-toting detective Batman and The Spirit sharing space in a comic.  I still have all these issues, so I gave them a re-read when I shined up this old review a bit.  Except for a few changes, I've left the original review alone.  I'll let you know what I thought about the re-read in the conclusion.  Is this really as bad as I originally thought it was?

Let's find out!

ORIGINAL INTRO:

Welcome to the 1950's. . .where they have cell phones, laptops, and dirigibles! Welcome to DC's failed and forgotten attempt to start a new pulp-influenced universe. Welcome to FIRST WAVE!

BAT MAN/DOC SAVAGE SPECIAL
DC (2010)

SCRIPTS: Brian Azzarello

PENCILS: Phil Noto

COVER: JG Jones

So what we have here is the one shot Preview for what was supposed to have been a new DC pulp-influenced universe. From what I understand, DC had the license for some of the pulp characters for a short while (with the glaring exclusion of The Shadow. . .who was already a DC character in the past. A shame) and were trying to figure out what to do with them.

Coming into this I knew some basics, but I wasn't very familiar with Doc Savage. He is (according to the helpful notes in the back of the issue) supposed to be this universe's "Superman". Despite the notes, this one shot doesn't help much with introducing Doc Savage to the uninitiated. Batman (or, in THIS universe, Bat-Man) is based on the original 1930's gun-toting detective version instead of the later superhero caped crusader. I REALLY liked this version of Batman!

Azzarello gives us a decent (if somewhat thin) tale of Bat Man trying to track down an organization called the Golden Tree, getting wrongly accused of murder, and Doc Savage coming to Gotham to take him down. They end up as. . .not friends, but not enemies at the end of it all.

 The art by Noto was pretty good for this story, but not as good as Noto art normally is.  Backgrounds are practically non-existent (but that's normal for Noto) and Noto's normally-sharp lines are missing.  Faces in particular suffer from time to time through the whole issue.  It all just looks a little off when compared to what I'm used to from Phil Noto.

All in all, I don't think this was a great introduction to the First Wave universe. The only character I got a good handle on was the pulp version of Batman, which I really liked. That said, it wasn't bad at all.  The extra material in the back detailing the new characters coming into the First Wave Universe really interested me in what was coming.  As far as THIS issue goes, it's a decent story, but not really the great introduction it was meant to be.

An additional 2019 note:  I suggest not reading the following First Wave mini without first reading the additional character information in the Preview Special (or the internet, I suppose).  Oddly enough, according to the page I scanned above, it looks like Black Canary was also supposed to be part of First Wave, but she isn't found in any of the comics. . .another example of the unfulfilled promise of First Wave.

FIRST WAVE 

DC (2010 - 2011)

SCRIPTS: Brian Azzarello
PENCILS: Rags Morales
COVERS: JG Jones

ISSUE 1

The one shot introduction to the DC First Wave pulp alternative universe didn't do a great job.  Unfortunately this first  issue of the universe's "official" rollout didn't do much better.

Once again, Doc Savage is barely sketched out. The Spirit fares a little better, but not by much. Now, I'm not going to say that I love repeated origin stories every time a character gets a new series, but I'm thinking a LITTLE more origin might have been nice here for readers unfamiliar with these older characters being introduced to a modern audience.

 I'm a big fan of The Spirit and so the lack of information on just who this crazy guy in the blue suit sleeping in an open grave and making coffee with a mask on was didn't really bother ME. . .but I'm a little vague on Doc Savage, and the extremely helpful notes from the Doc Savage/Bat Man special were missing here.

 I can only imagine what someone coming in with absolutely no knowledge of these characters would have thought. No wonder this new universe didn't last long. . .

To make the lack of introduction a bit more confusing, this First Wave universe seems to occupy a strange corner of reality where high tech exists in a late 1940's/early 1950's world. Cell phones, robots, and jet planes exist alongside dirigibles and autogyros.

What it REALLY reminds me of is the universe that Batman The Animated Series was set in. That's definitely not a bad thing in MY book, but once again. . .for new readers, this might be a hard thing to get a handle on.

ANYWAY. . .

The story is mostly pretty thin introduction and world-building. Some sequences away from Doc Savage and The Spirit set in South America made absolutely no sense, but look like setup to another forgotten pulp hero (heroine, that is), Rima the Jungle Girl. The Blackhawks also make a last panel appearance, so it looks like this series will have a pretty big cast of characters.

All in all, it was a decent read. I won't call it great, but I won't call it bad. It rides right down the middle of the road. I might think different if I came in without any knowledge of the characters.  For some readers this would probably be pretty confusing, to say the least.

Finally, the art looks very nice.  Rags Morales puts in a great effort on this job, and the art definitely kicks up my enjoyment of this issue a notch. This could have gone VERY wrong in the hands of another artist.

ISSUE 2

Another issue of thin introductions and world-building. We meet The Spirit's friend and helper, Ebony White. . .transformed in this new universe from a racial stereotype man into a racial stereotype woman. I'm thinking maybe Ebony White should just be left in the past. . .

We also are introduced to the First Wave version of The Blackhawks. Quite a bit more brutal and mercenary than usual. Looks like Azzarello took a bit of inspiration from Howard Chaykin's Blackhawks, although Janos hasn't shown up yet.

We get to learn a bit more about the man running through the jungle from the first issue. A scientist working on some sort of project in a high-tech floating city called Neolantis who stole some information. Rima The Jungle Girl is still little more than a lurking presence. 

Also introduced is another pulp character I'm vague on and am again thankful for the additional  information at the end of the Batman/Doc Savage Special. . .The Avenger. A of master of disguise and private detective.  Once again, I feel a bit sorry for readers coming into this who didn't pick up the First Wave Special and who don't have access to the additional information.

ANYWAY. . .

I'm really liking The Spirit's part in this (He takes an epic nut kick from one of the Blackhawks, and still cracks a joke when he wakes up!) So at least on The Spirit, Azzarello is hitting the mark quite nicely.

As far as the other characters, they're barely sketches, so far.  And 2 issues in without Batman?  He's on the covers.  He's in the hype text.  Well. . .at least this is shaping up to be a decent Spirit story, anyway.

Overall, I liked this issue. . .but mainly because of The Spirit. Hopefully, some of these threads will begin to weave together and start to form the bigger picture that keeps being promised.

ISSUE 3

Halfway into this series and Azzarello is STILL making introductions. This time out, Bat-Man joins the game. Like I said in my review of the Preview to the First Wave universe (Batman/ Doc Savage Special, above), this version of Batman is based on the original 1930's detective-style crimefighter. . .not the later superhero. He carries guns and isn't afraid to use them OR kill criminals. He's younger, more reckless, and a lot more dangerous than the Batman most readers are used to. Personally, I like this version of the character a LOT.

I see that 2 regular series came out of First Wave. . .Doc Savage and The Spirit. I would have REALLY liked to see a regular with this version of Batman as well. But then again, that might have been confusing to have ANOTHER bat book on the stands. But hey. . .I'M not the one who wanted to start a new pulp universe and then just sort of left it hanging. Just saying. It might have been good.  It might have actually carried the First Wave universe a bit longer. . .sort of like how Spider Man 2099 carried the 2099 Universe over at Marvel.

BUT I DIGRESS!

Unfortunately, Bat-Man is barely sketched out. Why is he dressing up as a bat? What is his motivation to risk everything he has fighting crime? So on and so forth. None of it is given a bit of explanation. And so far, that is this series (and by extension, this universe) biggest problem: They rushed right into the adventure and never properly introduced the characters beyond some additional information at the end of the Batman/Doc Savage Special. I keep saying it, but I feel sorry for anyone who picked this up who wasn't able to refer to that. . .

ISSUE 4

Well, it took a while and it was a bit convoluted, but Azzarello finally got his cast of characters in one place. . .the South American nation of Hidalgo and the floating city of Neolantis. We hardly know anything about any of these people, but here they are!

Once again, the lack of proper introduction or world building blunts the story. Why should we care about any of these "heroes"? Especially since half of them seem to be just as nasty as the "villains".

Okay, I realize that pulp and noir are supposed to be about the grey areas, but really. . .I'm having trouble seeing much wrong with the villain's plan.  A gathering of wealth to help rebuild the world with advanced technology 5 years after a devastating world war?

Is there something wrong with that which a rag-tag group of unheroic heroes need to take notice of and stop? Okay. . .so there's some big money connections to organized crime, but it's in the cause of world peace through technology. Whatever.  Bat-Man's gotta be Bat-Man no matter what universe, I guess.

BUT I DIGRESS (again)!

All in all, this issue was a bit confusing. I think that so far Azzarello has spent more of his effort figuring out just how the hell he's going to get a bunch of (mostly) city-based back alley and rooftop heroes into the jungle than he has worrying about what they were going to actually DO once the gang was all in one place. And only two more issues to go. I hope he gets it figured out quick, or this isn't gonna end well. . .

ISSUE 5

This issue is a mess.

Like I said in my review of last issue, Azzarello seems to have spent  so much time figuring out how to get a bunch of (mostly) city-based crimefighters into the jungle that he's just sort of winging it once they get there. And to make matters worse, the ONE actual jungle-based character. . .Rima the Jungle Girl. . .might as well not even be in the story for all the attention she's given. 

I had high hopes for this series (and REALLY liked the Spirit series that came out of it), but it has been plagued by poor characterization and a weak villain with a vague (and oddly beneficial) plot that probably doesn't even need to be stopped.

This issue is a crazy quilt of epic proportions. Everything from giant lizards to human experiments (on hobos imported from cities when there's a whole damn jungle full of natives), to Doc Savage running around Tarzan-style in a loincloth punching Uzi-toting redshirts.

At least the art is still very nice, and the parts with Bat-Man and The Spirit are good.
As for the rest. . .Ever since the gang got together in the jungle, this series has officially gone off the rails.

ISSUE 6

A pretty sweet Jim Lee Variant cover on the 6th issue

Well. . .it started off pretty good, but didn't end well.  The ending of this mini is a convoluted, confusing mess that tries to tie up loose ends and STILL introduce new things at the same time.

 Azzarello tried to cram ALL the new DC pulp characters and ideas into ONE mini without a clear mission or a worthy villain and wound up at the end of it all with an overcrowded mess. Most of the characters were out of their element, and without a proper introduction to any of them, there was no reason to worry about their fate. It seems like such a waste of talent and time. A damn shame.

CONCLUSION

This could have been the beginning of something great if only Azzarello had narrowed his focus instead of trying to force epic onto street-level characters. I'm not sure about the Doc Savage series that came out of this because I never read an issue of it, but the Spirit series successfully lowered its gaze back to the street where it belonged.

ONE simple phrase in Azzarello's mind COULD have saved this from becoming a mess:
Bat-Man doesn't belong in the jungle.

It's not just Bat-Man, but most of these characters don't belong in the jungle. I can only shake my head and wonder why? Why did it have to go that direction? Was it because of Rima the Jungle Girl? Maybe Azzarello couldn't figure out how to get her to the city, so he brought the other characters to the jungle. But if that was the case, why did he barely use her?

I'm not sure what happened. I REALLY wanted to like this series, but now I don't even care.

Thanks, Obama.

And there it is. First Wave. A series where epic was forced on street-level heroes and failure followed close behind. A damn shame and a LOT of wasted potential, given the talent that was put into this project.  I don't know what happened, but it went from "Pretty Good" to "What The Hell?" really fast.

2019 RE-READ CONCLUSION

I was pretty harsh on this series when I originally reviewed it.  I can see my bitterness in the fact that I didn't even do a proper story synopsis for each issue, but just jumped right into what I didn't like about it.  I found very few bright spots (the art, the Spirit and Bat-Man were about it), and really that says just as much about my own state of mind at the time as it does the wasted potential of First Wave.  I just REALLY didn't like writing reviews of new comics and not being able to tell the whole truth, and that shows up in my "side" reviews (Like First Wave) as well.

BUT. . .

I'm in a different place now.  I review what I want and can tell it like I see it.  You can agree or disagree with my humble opinion, but at least my frustration at being paid to lie is gone. And no. . .I'm NOT going to do "Rescue Reviews" on the new (at the time) comics I was reviewing.

BUT I DIGRESS!

This isn't about me.  It's about First Wave and what I think about it on another read-through.  Okay then. . .if I had to describe this mini (and one shot) in one word, that word would be: Disappointing.

Yeah. . .sadly, even though I don't find it to be as bad as I originally thought, I still find First Wave to be a disappointing waste of talent and potential.  And there's a LOT of wasted talent and potential here.

First, let's talk about the good things.  The art is great, no complaints there.  The parts of the story featuring Bat-Man and The Spirit are the best parts of First Wave, and make me want more.

Unfortunately, my original assessment still stands regarding rushed (or practically non-existent) character introductions, a weak villain with a vague plot, characters out of their natural element, and just a general sense of too many things being thrown into this mini at once.  These elements all come together in a bit of a mess that overshadows the good things to be found here.

In my humble opinion, Azzarello made an extremely bad choice in making this a jungle adventure in the first place.  Yes. . .I know that jungle adventures are a theme in pulp fiction.  Tarzan being the best and most popular example of Jungle-themed pulp stories.

BUT. . .

When you say "Pulp Fiction" to somebody and ask them to describe what you're talking about, most of the time, you're going to get an answer that involves cities, gangsters, and detectives.  THIS is where First Wave fails.  When you have great urban-based characters like a gunslinging detective Bat-Man, The Spirit, and The Avenger, WHY in hell would you decide the perfect adventure to bring them together would be to take them out of their natural element of dark alleys and rooftops and drop them into the jungle?

The Batman/ Doc Savage one shot First Wave Preview wasn't the best introduction to the First Wave universe, but it WAS a decent urban-based detective story told in a pulp style!  If Azzarello had just narrowed his focus and kept things on the gritty streets, First Wave MIGHT have lasted long enough to start telling jungle stories with a fish out of water angle.  Instead, he jumped right into the jungle before the identities of the First Wave characters had been established enough to BE a fish out of water angle.

You don't even realize the disappointment I feel reading the total mishandling of something that SHOULD have been great! The First Wave Spirit series that followed this introductory mini written by Mark Schultz and illustrated by Moritat (With back up stories by comic legends DENNIS O'NEAL and BILL SIENKIEWICZ!) was great because it EMBRACED the urban nature of the character, and in doing so, actually fulfilled the promise of First Wave in a way that this mini failed to do. 

Unfortunately, the damage was already done right at the start with this weak introduction and that Spirit series (along with the entire First Wave idea itself) didn't last long.  A damn shame.

Overall, this First Wave mini isn't as bad as I originally thought.  It's actually a pretty decent story with a lot of extremely disappointing flaws.  I say go ahead and give it a read. . .but be prepared to feel a bit sad over what it COULD have been.  There's a lot of wasted potential to be found in these 7 practically-forgotten comic books.

Up next. . .

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY COMICS, YOU DAMN DIRTY APES!

It's another "Rescue Review".
This time out, Boom Studios Planet of The Apes. The whole series!

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - Avengers: Millenium

Let's get this out of the way right off the top. . .I'm not an Avengers fan.

I'm not a big fan of The Avengers for the same reason I'm not a big fan of The Justice League.  That being I like individual characters on both teams (and on other team books), but it just seems like a failing proposition to keep coming up with stories that can present a challenge to a combined team of the mightiest heroes on Earth.  To me, it all just sort of reeks of fan service, and really I just prefer lower-key super heroics concentrating on fewer characters.

BUT. . .

I seem to be in the minority when it comes to comics starring laughably overpowered super-teams, and that's okay. . .I just pass 'em by and read what I like.  But I occasionally make an exception.  Case in point being the 4 issue Avengers: Millennium series at hand. . .

My local comic shop had all four issues bundled for 5 lousy bucks with that SWEET cover for issue #1 on top.  I may not buy Avengers on the regular, but 4 issues for 5 bucks with at least one cover to make my office wall comic art rotation was a deal I couldn't refuse.

And so here we are.  Let's do this!

AVENGERS: MILLENNIUM
MARVEL (JUNE 2015 - Published Weekly)
ISSUE ONE

SCRIPT: Mike Costa

PENCILS: Carmine Di Giandomenico

COVER: Leinil Yu

When The Scarlet Witch senses something very wrong with a seemingly-insignificant Hydra base in Japan, she sends Quicksilver to gather The Avengers to help her investigate. After easily defeating the Hydra forces guarding the base, they discover an open time portal in the tunnels below. . .

First off, the awesome cover by Leinil Yu is definitely frame-worthy. One thing, though. . .Thor is there in the cover's group shot, but don't go looking for him inside. For some reason this Avenger series is Thor-less.

It's a pretty simple story in this first issue, basically getting The Avengers assembled and in Japan for an extended fight scene and a cliffhanger ending. . .but even though it's pretty much all setup, it's well written, with some clever moments in the dialogue, especially Hawkeye and Spider Man's running debate about cheeseburgers.

I'm a fan of Carmine Di Giandomenico's quirky art style, but he's one of those "Love it or hate it" sort of artists. I felt that his extremely kinetic and cinematic style added a lot to the book. I think that with a more mainstream artist, the pretty flimsy story would have really been magnified and suffered for it.

Overall, this was a great opening issue, setting things up nicely with witty dialogue and fantastic art.

ISSUE TWO

SCRIPT: Mike Costa
PENCILS: Carmine Di Giandomenico

COVER: Mike Deodato Jr.

Dr. Bruce Banner (AKA The Incredible Hulk) determines that the open time portal the Avengers discovered leads to two different time periods (prehistoric and WWII) and that Hydra has hidden something in one of them.

The Avengers split into two teams and go to investigate, but something goes wrong and they end up scattered, with Quicksilver, Captain America, and Hawkeye ending up in prehistory, Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Black Widow in WWII, and Scarlet Witch and Hulk finding themselves in a post-apocalyptic future.

Captain America's team discovers that whatever Hydra has hidden, it was in prehistoric times, but a captured Hydra agent tells them that the portal is a one way trip. Oops. . .

This second issue is more setup. It separates the large cast of characters into smaller groups and presents them with a major problem in that they are seemingly trapped in time. Worse, the team that lands in the future discovers that Hydra's plan was a success. 

The writing remains snappy and moves the story along without dragging. The writer does a good job of making the extremely thin story interesting.

Di Giandomenico's cinematic art style is a big help in propping up what little story there is here. Unfortunately, his style doesn't lend itself well to the animals Hydra controls and uses in battle in the prehistoric scenes, but that's only a few panels over a couple pages, so it doesn't take away too much from the book.

Speaking of prehistoric animals. . .the cover on this one is deceptive to say the least. There's not a dinosaur in sight inside. 

Overall this issue was good. . .not as good as the first issue, but still going strong.

ISSUE THREE

SCRIPT: Mike Costa

PENCILS: Paco Diaz

COVER: Mike Deodato Jr.

In Japan near the end of WWII, Iron Man, Black Widow, and Spider-Man infiltrate a Hydra base and discover that whatever Hydra is hiding, it needs the seismic activity and radiation of the soon to be dropped atomic bomb.

Meanwhile, in the far future, The Hulk and Scarlet Witch are attacked by Hydra forces. After defeating them, Scarlet Witch decides it's time to get to the bottom of the mystery and discovers not only that whatever was once hidden is gone, but also finds Captain America in a stasis tube!

First off. . .how about that boob-tastic cover? Like the rest of the covers for this series, it doesn't really represent what happens in the issue, but it certainly represents Black Widow VERY nicely. 

*ahem* ANYWAY. . .

After an extremely strong start and second issue, things start to take a turn for the worse in this lead up to the big finish.

Where the jokes and witty banter of the first couple of issues pretty much hit the mark, the humor falls flat in this one, with clunkers like Spider-Man dressing in drag to get past Japanese guards. The whole scene is a little embarrassing and pointless. Thankfully, it's only a few pages.

Beyond the failed attempts at humor, there's also the fact that both of the stories at hand are basically repeats. . .heroes infiltrate base, heroes are attacked by a lone superior Hydra soldier during the larger battle, the superior Hydra soldier is defeated by surprise attack, heroes discover surprising revelation pertaining to plot. Both the WWII group and the far future group follow that exact same outline. 

That's not to say it's BAD. . .the ending cliffhanger with the discovery that Captain America put himself in stasis in prehistory so that he could help the team in the future was pretty clever. There's also some nice dialogue between Scarlet Witch and Hulk.

There's also an artist changeup in this issue that knocks things down a notch. 

In the reviews of the first two issues, I wondered if a more mainstream artist would magnify the flimsy story and I got my answer in this issue. The answer is no. 

The art in this issue looks amateurish compared to Carmine Di Giandomenico's unique style, and without that extra layer of eye candy it's pretty obvious that this mini is really a story that could have been told in two issues.

Overall, this issue isn't bad. . .it's just not as good as the first two. The humor falls flat, the two stories basically copy each other, and the art is disappointing.

And finally. . .

ISSUE FOUR

SCRIPT: Mike Costa

PENCILS: Carmine Di Giandomenico

COVER: Mike Deodato Jr.

Iron Man manages to re-open the time portals and reunite the scattered Avengers back in the present, only to be forced into battle against a time-travelling Superior Hydra Soldier riding a giant monster hatched from the egg that had been buried for 12,000 years and bent on destroying a Japanese city for. . .reasons?

And now for the big finish!
No. Actually it's pretty weak.

This series has been declining at a fairly even pace since the first issue, and this final issue is definitely the worst of the bunch.

The 12,000 year time travel puzzle basically boils down to a discount Godzilla that needs punching and a strangely random Hydra soldier who also needs punching. It's an extremely weak payoff for all the setup. 

Even worse, the way that Hawkeye comes up with a solution to the problem of the egg never hatching and therefore Godzilla. . .er. . .KAKARANTHARIAN that is. . .not needing to be punched, but vanishing back into the timeline, is laughably vague and feels like the writer was sort of desperate to figure out a way to end the story quickly. . .like there might have originally been 5 issues planned for this series.

On the good side of things, Carmine Di Giandomenico is back on art and the issue at least LOOKS great. The double page spread of the Avengers re-assembling is a real standout. The cover is also fantastic, but I want to know why the hell the Statue of Liberty is in the middle of the goddamn city. Doesn't Mike Deodato know the Statue of Liberty is on a friggin' island?

ANYWAY. . .

Overall, except for the art and cover, there's not much good about this issue. It's a damn shame that a decent little story about The Avengers trapped in time and trying to solve a puzzle came down at the end of things as just another "Heroes Punch A Giant Monster" comic book cliche.

CONCLUSION

I'm not really a fan of The Avengers, but I found this min-series to be entertaining. . .at least until the final issue where it basically turned into a "Punch The Giant Monster!" cliche.  The art was great, for the most part.  There were a few funny moments scattered throughout, and the simple framework of "The Avengers Trapped In Time" propped up a story that really should have been two issues pretty well for four.  

Overall, it's not a bad mini. . .but it's really not that great either.  If I had to describe it in one word, that word would be "Forgettable".  It's one of those things you read once and never really think about it again.

Up Next. . .

Star Wars! Vampires! Star Wars AND Vampires! How can it NOT be good?

Star Wars: Screaming Citadel 5 issue series.

Be there or be square!