Longbox Junk - Aliens (2009)

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, home of all the comic reviews you never asked for!

It's surprisingly busy at work this week for this time of year. . .the hotel I manage is hosting a big national scrapbooking convention. Who even knew there WERE scapbooking conventions? Not me. But here it is. . .and trust me, these folks are SERIOUS about scrapbooking! Well, serious enough to take over an entire hotel/convention center for a solid week, anyway.

ANYWAY. . .

With all the scrapbooking-related madness, I haven't been able to get much time for readin' and reviewin' comic books. So this week I'm blowing the dust off of another Longbox Junk Rescue Review!

These are reviews that I wrote a few years ago when I was working for a well-known comic site (that shall remain unnamed) that has sort of turned into a well-known comic RELATED site focused a lot more on T.V., movies, and anime instead of the comic books that made them well known in the first place. . .BUT I DIGRESS!

I call them "Rescue Reviews" because I've taken them (with permission) from the hard to find and difficult to navigate archives of said well-known unnamed comic-related site, added some pictures, and polished them up just a bit in order to put them in a place where comic books are still appreciated. . .namely right here at Longbox Junk. Other than that bit of spit-shine, they remain pretty much in the same form as originally published.

Enough introduction. Let's do this!

ORIGINAL INTRODUCTION:

I'm a big fan of the Alien franchise. . .movies, comics, novels, video games. I love it all!  I even love those movies everyone hates (Like Alien 3, which is actually one of my favorites in the franchise).

Did I love this 2009 Dark Horse "Reboot" of the comics end of the franchise?

 Read on!

ALIENS

Dark Horse (2009)

SCRIPT: John Arcudi

PENCILS: Zach Howard

INKS: Mark Irwin & Zach Howard

ISSUE ONE 

COVER: Zach Howard

What a fantastic opening to this 4 issue mini-series! The excellence starts with the awesome cover and continues inside with the gritty, detailed artwork. . .which is definitely the best part of this entire series.

The story is well-written and for such a short space, has several twists. Starting with a prologue throwing us right into Alien action, then twisting to show that takes place sometime in the future of the story. THEN we follow one character through most of the issue, assuming she's the main character. Nope. . .twist again as she's gunned down later on. THEN we're introduced to the actual main character at the very end in another twist as he claws his way up from a mass grave. Very well done!

If I have one complaint about this issue, it's the design of the Aliens. They aren't the sleek black Xenomorphs I was expecting (and featured on the outstanding cover). They are reddish in color and have odd bumps and tusks. The artist draws them well, but it's just strange.

Other than that VERY small complaint, I couldn't ask more from an opening issue. Mystery, action, plot twists. . .let's hope the quality keeps high on this one. NEXT!

ISSUE 2

COVER: Zach Howard

Another fantastic issue! The art continues to really impress me and once again, the story takes several twists that just make me want to keep turning the page. . .

First we find out the identity of the true main character, then we find out he's the Alien franchise's favorite ex machina (literally), an android. Then we find out that there's something MORE than "just" Aliens on this world. . .something that plays with the minds of humans and controls them. THEN we find out that the people that need rescuing are the ones that killed everybody (almost) in the first issue, but they don't remember any of it except as a dream. 

Once again, lots of plot twists in a little space. I really liked it.

I only really have two complaints. . .first, there's still the strange-looking aliens. They're drawn fine, but I just don't like the more insect-like look. But maybe that's just me.

The second, I mentioned above. . .the Alien franchise over-reliance on android ex-machinas to carry a story showing up yet AGAIN. Too convenient. Too often. That doesn't make it a bad story, it's actually a really good story so far. I just rolled my eyes a bit when it was revealed that once again, an android saves the day. Stop it, Dark Horse. Just. . .stop.

ISSUE 3

COVER: Raymond Swanland

Although still good, I didn't like this issue as much as the previous two. The art is still the high point, starting with a great painted cover. Inside,the artwork is simply stunning as the action (and gore) kicks up a notch when David (the android) and the miners he has teamed up with are attacked by Aliens.

The problem I have with this issue is the same one I had with the last, but magnified even more in this issue. . .the ex machina of the android in almost every situation:

His "systems" can lead them to their lost member, Andrea. His "systems" can call down and remotely pilot the orbiting ship. His "systems" allow him to target and kill Aliens with relative ease (even though he introduces himself as a science model). And a main plot element is how his "systems" have been damaged to the point that he no longer is compelled to protect humans and at the end he hallucinates because of his damaged "systems". It just seems like a bit too much.

But like I said, that doesn't make the story BAD, It's just completely propped up on a very overused plot device. I did like the flashback scenes where the discovery of the mysterious alien (not Alien with a capital A, but something else that hasn't been revealed yet) is told about, but there are still plenty of questions I hope are wrapped up in the final issue. . .

ISSUE 4

COVER: Raymond Swanland

I have to say that this final issue was a pretty disappointing ending to this series.

After an extremely strong opening 2 issues, the story went a bit downhill. Not a complete slide off the rails by any means. It was still decent, and the art remained of fantastic quality through the whole thing. . .it's just that the ending in this last issue didn't really resolve anything. It's less of a "The End" and more of a "To Be Continued".

This issue was pretty much all out action as the android, David, and the small group of miners under his protection fight their way out of the alien (small a) city and are relentlessly attacked by Aliens (big A) on the way back to his ship. Yeah, they escape after losing a few members along the way, but that's not where the disappointment comes from.

One of the miners breaks away from the group because he (sort of rightly) doesn't trust a damaged android to lead them to safety. He returns to the heart of the alien city and we see him pretty much worshipping some sort of giant glowing alien (small a) being that has no resemblance to the Aliens (big A). It sort of comes right out of nowhere without any explanation, and then. . .nothing. The stoy just ends. It's like this whole mini was a prologue to another story.

It left a lot of questions unanswered. How could the android, David, dream and hallucinate? Who or what built the alien city? What was the giant glowing being that Red was worshipping? Why are the Aliens different in form and color? So on and so forth.

I'm not sure if there was a follow-up to this story, but as a stand-alone tale, the ending is not good at all, and probably the most disappointing part of this entire series. A mini-series implies a complete story. This is NOT a complete story.

CONCLUSION

Despite an over-reliance on the tried and true super android ex machina and an unexplained ending that leaves this an incomplete story, I really enjoyed this mini for its individual parts, even though as a whole it ended on a disappointing note. 

The art was outstanding in every way, on every page, and in every panel. The story kept me turning the page, even though the plot twists of the first couple issues took a back seat to action on the back half. I just wish this would have gone a couple more issues and given a more satisfying ending.

All in all I would definitely suggest this mini for anyone who likes the Aliens franchise, with a fair warning that it isn't a complete story. If you don't like the whole Aliens thing, this mini won't change your mind a bit. 

Next up. . .

Something from my newly-acquired giant pile of non DC/Marvel comics! There's a LOT of good junk in there. Maybe TOO much! I think I might be having a bit of off-brand Longbox Junk overload! SO MUCH GOOD JUNK! I'm having a hard time picking.

Be there or be square.

Longbox Junk - Batman/Aliens II

I wasn't really too impressed with the first Batman/ Aliens crossover.

It had its moments, but overall it was average at best, with cardboard cutout disposable 80's action movie cliche characters and art that was half and half. . .good on monsters and backgrounds, bad on human characters.  

A damn shame, given my love of both properties.  I think the main reason it didn't really come together right out of the gate is that Batman doesn't work very well outside of his own dark urban environments.  It just wasn't a good fit.  

BUT. . .

There seems to have been enough people who liked the first one to merit Dark Horse and DC getting back together a few years later for a sequel. . .and this one is set in more familiar Batman territory of  Gotham City.

Is it any better?  Let's take a look and find out!

BATMAN/ALIENS II

DC/Dark Horse (2002)

SCRIPTS: Ian Edginton

PENCILS: Staz Johnson

COVERS: Staz Johnson

ISSUE ONE

When a sealed laboratory that has been hidden beneath Gotham for 70 years is opened, an alien horror is unleashed on the city. . .and only Batman realizes the danger everyone is in. 

The first issue of this series is already off to a better start than the original series by placing the action squarely in Batman's home turf, the gritty streets and alleys of Gotham City. I also really like that we get to see Batman as detective in this issue instead of an Arnold Schwarzenegger action hero stand-in as Bats was portrayed in the first series. 

Sure, there's plenty of action toward the end of the issue as Batman confronts a pair of Aliens in a forgotten subway tunnel, but the buildup to that battle has some REALLY good Batman and Jim Gordon character moments, as well as some very Lovecraftian storytelling in the introduction (a doomed Antarctic expedition in 1928) and a flashback toward the middle (where Batman reads the journal of the sole survivor of the expedition).

The art here really stands out as well. It's highly-detailed and crisp, and to tell the truth. . .I like it a lot better than Bernie Wrightson's art in the first series, especially when it comes to the ridiculously-detailed Aliens. Not saying BW's art was bad, and I'm not going to knock down a legend. . .but as I said in my review of the first Batman/Alien crossover, it was definitely not his best work. Staz Johnson really knocks it out of the park here.

Here's a nice example with a great scene between Batman and Jim Gordon. . .

Overall, I liked this first issue a LOT more than I did the original series. Batman is in his proper element, there's some great writing, and the art is fantastic. It's a winner!

ISSUE TWO

After surgically removing 3 Alien embryos from their victims, Batman is prevented from destroying the creatures by a mysterious government agent.  The embryos and the original Alien escape into the city after a massive battle, But Batman enlists the aid of Oracle to track them to Arkham Asylum.

During the battle to destroy the now-grown Aliens, Batman is taken prisoner by the Government Agent, who isn't exactly who she seems to be. . .

There's a lot more action in this issue as Batman goes from fighting two adult Aliens to 4 of them. He's forced to strap on some Bat Armor and use Mr. Freeze's Cold Gun just to hold his own, and even then he only survives because of an unexpected team-up with Two-Face. 

I liked the cameo of Oracle (one of my favorite characters of the time) and Jim Gordon was an utter badass in a way that we haven't seen him in a while. There was also a very nice nightmare scene. . .but other than those few moments, story fell by the wayside as the action ramps up.

That's not to say the issue was bad by any means. It was actually really good. The storytelling and character moments faded to the background in a natural way so I didn't mind the switch from detective mode to action mode at all.

The art also remains extremely strong, with a fantastic double page spread of the Aliens attacking Arkham that has so much detail in the creatures that it's almost overwhelming!

Check it out below. . .but you REALLY need to see it on the actual page!

BUT. . .

We also get the obligatory Alien Franchise cliche "We can't kill the Aliens. . .we have to study them." character, and it's never really made clear as to WHY the Aliens decided to attack Arkham, except (as I suspect) to throw in some cool villain cameos. 

Overall, this is a good, strong issue. There's a few questionable story moments, but not enough to bring it down more than half a notch.

And Finally. . .

ISSUE THREE

Batman is forced to fight his way through a testing ground for human/Alien hybrid soldiers infused with the DNA of Arkham Asylum's worst villains!

What
The
&%@#?!

After two REALLY good issues, the finale not only goes off the rails but flies over the cliff AND rolls down to the bottom of the hill in a flaming, twisted mess of unrecognizable wreckage.

It's bad. It's real bad. How the flapping f*#& did THIS happen?

So Batman is trapped on a supervillain base that's an abandoned oil rig with talking, gun-toting creatures that are human soldier volunteers enhanced with Alien DNA and that of Batman villains like the Joker. 

Yeah. . .there's a friggin' JOKER Alien with a giant cheesy grin.  And a Mr. Freeze Alien, and a Two-Face Alien, and a Scarecrow Alien, and a Poison Ivy Alien.  Talking Aliens.  With guns.

God. . .it's so bad.

SO bad. . .

The worst part of it is that the art is still REALLY good! Somehow, against ALL odds, Staz Johnson manages to bring this horrible idea to detailed life. . .his depiction of the giant Killer Croc Alien is awesome!

But the very IDEA that his art brings to life is so bad, so ridiculous, that it's almost unreadable. After the quality of the first two issues, I find it hard to believe that this isn't some kind of strange joke. . .

Overall, except for the art, this issue has no business actually existing. It is a terrible end to what WAS a pretty damn good story. And speaking of the end, it's so abrupt that it's almost insulting. 

My GOD, what happened here? 

CONCLUSION

This is a series that has a definite curve.  It starts high and ends up REALLY low. 

The first issue is really good in just about every way that it can be.  Batman in detective mode butting heads with Jim Gordon in Gotham City over how to handle deadly aliens stalking the subway tunnels.  

The second issue cranks up the action as the Aliens begin openly attacking and Batman pursues them, desperately trying to end the carnage before it gets out of control.

But then the third issue jumps the rails and goes over the cliff when it pits Batman against talking, gun-toting Alien/Human hybrid soldiers infused with the DNA of Batman's Rogues Gallery characters like the Joker and Poison Ivy aboard a secret oil platform supervillain lair.

The first two issues (especially the first) are EVERYTHING I want in a good Batman story.  The last issue is everything wrong with Batman.  I don't understand how this story can be so GOOD and so goddamn BAD at the same time!

Overall, I find myself in a strange place when it comes to suggesting this story or not.  All I can really say is that the first issue is gold, the second silver, and the third crap.  This story having such a bad ending has to be one of the most disappointing feelings I've had about a comic book in quite a while.

Up Next. . .

Nobody liked him. Everybody hated him.  He wasn't ANYBODY'S Main Man. 

But was it really THAT bad?  Let's find out! 

New 52 Lobo. . .the whole damn series (13 issues and 1 annual). 

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - Batman/Aliens

I've said it before, I'll say it again. . .I LOVE the Aliens franchise.  One of my favorite movies is the much-hated Alien 3.  You KNOW anyone who publicly confesses a love for Alien 3 without a single bit of shame or justification is a TRUE Alien fan.  

Dark Horse has been the holder of the Alien comic rights for. . .well. . .ever.  They can be a bit hit or miss.  Some Alien stories are among the favorite comics in my collection.  Others are. . .well, let's be kind and just say they're truly Longbox Junk.


AND. . .

When it comes to DC comics, Batman is pretty much my favorite character of them all.  I have 36 longboxes in my comic collection.  5 of them are nothing but Batman comics.  I have more Batman comics in my collection than a lot of people have in their TOTAL collection.  What I'm saying is that I like Batman.  A lot.

SO. . .

A Batman and Aliens crossover would seem to be a win/win for me. . .right? 

Let's find out!

BATMAN/ALIENS

DC/DARK HORSE (1997)

SCRIPTS: Ron Marz

PENCILS: Bernie Wrightson

COVERS: Bernie Wrightson

ISSUE ONE

Batman encounters a government special ops squad while deep in the Jungle on a mission to find a missing Waynetech scientist.  After they reluctantly join forces, they discover a crashed alien ship and are attacked by deadly creatures. 

Basically what we have here is a fairly large pile of 80's action movie cheese by way of 90's comics. That's not entirely a bad thing if you come into it knowing what to expect. . .the 90's comic version of a borderline bad 80's action movie guest-starring Batman for no good reason.

The special ops group are totally 80's cliche characters, each defined by a single character trait:

There's the burly bully who gets in everybody's face. . . the tough woman out to prove herself in a man's world. . . the jumpy guy who didn't sign up for this $hit. . . the religious guy who knows they're all gonna die. . .and Batman in grumpy "I work alone, stay out of my way" mode.

I'm not a big fan of stories where Batman is out of his dark urban element. . . and it seems the writer is aware that Bats is the odd man out because he references it several times. . .this story is no exception. Batman feels like he doesn't belong at all and doesn't really serve a purpose on the cliche squad except to be the Batman part of a Batman/Alien crossover.  

The story is extremely thin and the dialogue is typical gung-ho action movie. Some of Batman's inner monologue is pretty good, especially on the first page.

So. . .let's talk about the art. 

Bernie Wrightson is a true comics legend, especially in the field of horror. I was really excited to see his name as part of the creative team. Unfortunately, this is NOT some of his best work. That's not to say it's bad by any means. . .there are scattered panels that really shine, the backgrounds are very nicely done, and once the aliens appear, he does a fantastic job on them. 

It's just too bad that the same level of care shown to the backgrounds and horrific elements isn't there when it comes to the human characters, including Batman. . .who is drawn in a strange elongated style with a thin neck and extremely long "ears" on his cowl.

Overall, this book is half and half with me. The art is awesome in some places and just pretty bad in others. The story is thin. . .basically being a Predator movie with Aliens instead of Predators and Batman instead of Schwarzenegger.  Unfortunately, Batman just doesn't really fit and his reason for being out of Gotham and in the jungle seems like a really weak excuse.

ISSUE TWO

After the aliens decimate the special ops team, Batman and the two remaining survivors make their way through the passages of an ancient temple complex, desperately trying to make their escape. 

Like the first issue of this crossover, this second issue is pure 80's cheese by way of 90's comics.

It's basically an extended chase/fight scene as Batman leads the two remaining members of the special ops cliche squad ("Tough woman out to prove herself in a man's world" and "Jumpy guy who didn't sign up for this $hit") through an ancient temple, trying to find a way to escape the aliens.

At the end of things, we FINALLY get the missing piece of just about every Alien comic Dark Horse ever put out. . ."Tough woman trying to prove herself in a man's world" predictably turns into the villainous cliche "These aliens would make a GREAT weapon and I'll get rich bringing one back" character.

And then there's the obligatory "New Alien" in the form of a crocodile hybrid that for some unknown reason is as big as a Mu' Fuggin' Tyrannosaurus Rex!

"HOLY GIGANTIC CROCODILE ALIEN, BATMAN!"

Since there were more monsters and fight scenes in this issue than the first, Wrightson's horror chops have a bit more time to shine. Unfortunately, the great alien moments come at the expense of the human characters, who actually look WORSE than they did in the first issue. . .especially "Tough Women trying to prove herself in a man's world/ These aliens would make a great weapon and I'll get rich bringing one back", who now looks more like "Indian Spirit Warrior who knows everyone is gonna die" from the first Predator movie.

It all ends well with Batman "I work alone, stay out of my way" indeed being the lone survivor and destroying all traces of the alien presence.

Overall, the story on this second part was even thinner than that of the first issue. The art both improved AND got worse. Honestly speaking, this wasn't a very good Batman story OR Alien story.  It wasn't ALL bad. . .there were some good moments with both the writing and the art, but all in all, this was pretty disappointing.

CONCLUSION

If I had to describe this crossover in on word, that word would be: Disappointing.

The story is paper-thin and the characters are little more than cardboard cutouts of 80's action movie tropes defined by one character trait each: Tough Woman Trying To Prove Herself In A Man's World. . . Jumpy Guy Who Didn't Sign Up For This $hit. . . Religious Guy Who Knows They're All Gonna Die. . . Bulky Bully Who Gets In Everybody's Face. . .and I Work Alone, Don't Get In My Way.  

The story isn't BAD for what's there. . .unfortunately, there's really not much there.

The art by Comic Legend Bernie Wrightson is frankly not his best work.  The aliens and backgrounds are up to his usual horrific standards and are definitely the strong point of this series.  Unfortunately, his human characters (including Batman) aren't very well done at all.

Overall, I'd have to say that unless you are a Super-Fan of Batman, Aliens, or Sorta-Odd Crossovers you can probably skip this story and not be the worse for it.  It's average at best.

Up Next. . .

Since this one was only two issues, how about some MORE Batman/Alien fun?

Skipping forward a few years to 2003 and Batman/Aliens II.  Is it better than the first one?

Let's find out. 

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - One Shots: Aliens, The Assassin, Batman, Conan & Predator!

There's nothing wrong at all with a good ongoing series, but if anyone were to ask me what my favorite form of comic art is, I would immediately answer "The One Shot".  Within the framework of a single issue, the creative team is challenged to give us everything we need to enjoy a story. They're pretty much forced to swing for the fences.

 Here are 5 random single issues from my collection read and reviewed for your consideration.  Are they home runs or foul balls? Let's find out!

ONE SHOTS

ALIENS: PIG

Dark Horse (1997)
Script: Chuck Dixon
Pencils: Henry Flint

Space pirates wanting to salvage a downed cargo ship before the rightful owners beat them to it discover that the ship is crashed near an alien hive. They decide the best way to clear the nest is with a nuclear device strapped to the back of a pig. Hilarity ensues. . .

So what we have here is a one shot set in the grim Dark Horse Alien expanded universe, but written in a lighter, more comedic tone. Dixon does a fine job balancing action, horror, and comedy here as everything that CAN go wrong DOES go wrong.

Unfortunately, the art drags an otherwise good little standalone story down into "okay' territory. The artist is one of those who can't seem to draw a straight line. Everything is squiggly and twisted.

I understand that in the Alien universe, things are dark and twisted, leaving a lot of room for artist interpretation. . . but this is a straightforward character-driven comedy of errors. Pretentious indy art isn't really called for.

Overall, I really liked the story, but hated the art. I'd definitely suggest this one for the Alien completionists out there.

THE ASSASSIN

Arcana (2005)
Script: Sean O'Reilly
Pencils: Vincente Cifu (Cifuentes)

This one shot about a group of journalism students investigating the murders of local business leaders focuses on a Japanese racial angle and plays like an adult version of an after-school television special. The assassin, sort of a post-modern geisha, wears white face make-up and kills people with her hair ornaments.

So basically what we have here is a sort of manga Scooby Doo without the talking dog.

The presentation of the book itself is outstanding! The cover is fantastic, the paper is heavy and glossy. This comic has some serious heft to it and I can appreciate that. The interior art is very nicely done, with a heavily-inked, but cartoony manga style that I really liked.

Unfortunately, the story is overly-wordy, filled with exposition dumps, and the twist (the aggressive killer is a split-personality shy student) is telegraphed and wouldn't have been that much of a surprise even if it hadn't.

Overall, this is a book with great art and a nice presentation brought down by amateurish writing.

BATMAN:

 SEDUCTION OF THE GUN

DC (1992)
Script: John Ostrander
Pencils: Vince Giarrano

Batman and Robin confront gun violence on the streets of Gotham and discover that it's a problem that can't be solved by punching people.

FAIR WARNING: IF YOU ARE A STRONG SUPPORTER OF GUN RIGHTS, THIS COMIC BOOK WILL MAKE YOUR HEAD EXPLODE.

Okay, now THAT'S out of the way, let's take a look. . .

In 1990, the adult son of one of the Warner Brothers executives who worked with DC Comics was killed in a random shooting. In response, we got this comic book, which is strongly anti-gun from first page to last. The message is extremely heavy-handed and there are parts where it seems to quote directly from government anti-gun statistics and literature.

That's not to say that the story is BAD. It's actually a pretty straightforward tale of gangs and illegal gun sales with a grim tone and extremely unhappy ending. It's just that the simple, lean story at the heart of this book is padded to the extreme with anti-gun propaganda (or information, depending on your point of view). It SHOULD be a 48 page story, but ends up being too long at 64 pages.

The art is very nicely done in an awesome 90's-tastic way. A scene where the daughter of a snitch Robin is assigned to protect gets shot in the head right next to him is particularly memorable and brutal, but the entire book, from the great Dorman painted cover to the last page is very nicely illustrated.

Overall, this isn't a bad story, depending on your tolerance for anti-gun messages. It's too long and the 90's street lingo (one thug actually says "Word to your mother") is extremely dated, but it's well drawn and it's nice to see a Batman story where he doesn't win.

AGE OF CONAN: 

HYBORIAN ADVENTURES

Dark Horse (2006)
Scripts: Joshua Dysart & Timothy Truman
Pencils: Tone Rodriguez & Cary Nord

What we have here is a one shot giveaway comic that ties into the (then new) Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures PC MMORPG that had you playing as an adventurer during the time Conan was King of Aquilonia.

First off, the Cary Nord King Conan cover is absolutely fantastic and frameworthy on its own!

Inside are two stories. . .

AGE OF CONAN:
A King Conan story and what seems to be a direct tie-in to the video game. The art is pretty good, but nothing special. The story is actually two stories in one. King Conan dealing with the fallout from an attempted coup, with the other story about a village attacked by supernatural forces. Neither tale is that interesting, but they're not bad either. Both are just sort of. . .there.

THE ROAD OF KINGS:
The second story takes place earlier in Conan's life and involves Conan first rescuing, then robbing a group of priests. It's short and sweet, with great action. Not much to it, but it's better than the main story. It's also very nicely illustrated by main (at the time) Conan artist Cary Nord, and the visuals stand head and shoulders above the opening story.

Overall, for a freebie, this one shot delivers the goods. It has two decent stories and a fantastic cover. What else could you possibly want for free?

And last, but not least. . .

PREDATOR: JUNGLE TALES

Dark Horse (1995)
Scripts: Ian Edginton & Chuck Dixon
Pencils: Rick Leonardi & Enrique Alcatena

What we have here is a one shot reprinting 2 stories previously published in Dark Horse Comics (issues 1-2 & 10-12), with the connecting theme of the Predator aliens in Africa.  Let's look at them each in turn. . .

RITE OF PASSAGE:
The tale of a young tribesman encountering and barely defeating a Predator, and then leaving to hunt another decades later. The story is told wordlessly and so the art does the heavy lifting here since there isn't a single word of spoken or caption dialogue. I have to say that, although the backgrounds are sparse to nonexistent and the Predator itself is a bit odd looking, the artist manages to pull off the silent story very well.

THE PRIDE AT NGHASA:
This second story is told in a more traditional manner. It's set in 1936's British colonial Africa and involves a group of hunters brought in to deal with a lion terrorizing railroad workers. . .except it isn't a lion. It's a Predator. It's a good story that moves along at a brisk pace and is fantastically illustrated by one of my favorite artists, Enrique Alcatena. His dark, heavily-inked style and intricate panel borders really elevate this story.

Overall, I highly suggest this one shot to Predator fans that might have missed either of these stories in their original publication in Dark Horse Comics.

CONCLUSION

Overall, not a band handful of one shots at all!

 I'd say the best of the bunch was probably Predator: Jungle Tales.  None of them were really BAD, but if I had to pick one for the bottom of the list, it would probably be The Assassin for its weak story and amateurish writing. But to tell the truth, it wasn't THAT bad.

Up next. . .

Hey, remember LAST time Marvel brought back the original Captain America in his original costume and went back to original numbering because fans didn't like the swerve they took the character on and they felt a course correction back to a more traditional Captain America was called for?

 Here's one of the small handful of mini's Marvel put out to say "No, Really! It's the REAL Cap now! We promise!" Oh how comic history repeats. . .

Captain America & Iron Man 3 issue mini.

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - Aliens: Stronghold

I've said it before in other Longbox Junk entries. . .I love all things Alien.  As a matter of fact, I'm gonna commit nerdic heresy right here and right now by taking a step out of line and confessing that Alien 3 is one of my favorite movies.  And THEN I'm gonna just go ahead and throw myself completely over the cliff by actually admitting that I (mostly) like Alien: Resurrection.  But that's the movies.  What about the comics?

In between and around the various movies in the Alien franchise, Dark Horse was busy creating an expanded comic universe.  Similar to their Star Wars expanded universe, the quality of the projects ranged from really good to really bad.  There wasn't much middle ground.

So what side of the fence does the Longbox Junk at hand fall? READ ON!

ALIENS: STRONGHOLD

Dark Horse (1994)

SCRIPTS: John Arcudi
PENCILS: Doug Mahnke
INKS: Jimmy Palmiotti
COVERS: Doug Mahnke

ISSUE ONE

A supply ship lands on an isolated outpost where secret experiments are being done to discover a biological weapon against the Xenomorphs. The crew quickly realizes that the head scientist has gone insane from living alone surrounded only by aliens and synths. . . 

This first issue definitely has a strange tone to it, not the least because it strongly reminds me of other "Lone Madman in space surrounded by completely obedient artificial beings" stories. . .most notably Star Trek's "What are little girls made of?" episode, with strong dashes of Disney's "Black Hole" and "Forbidden Planet" thrown in the recipe.

The isolated mad scientist at hand, a Doctor Nordling, is SO overcharacterized that his horrible fate at the hands of either the aliens or the synths he cruelly abuses is pretty much telegraphed right from the start. . .with scenes such as his assuring the crew of the cargo ship that the synths are COMPLETELY obedient as the art swings in for a close up of his hand on the @$$ of his female synth lab assistant. 

The first issue is mostly setup, introducing the mad scientist, a ridiculous prototype synth in the form of an alien who smokes cigars, and a giant specialized alien killer synth named Dean. . .along with the married 2 person crew of the cargo ship and the unfortunately good looking synth grope target, Eve. 

The art is very nicely done, especially the cover, which is supremely detailed and, despite using ALL the colors of the rainbow, is a fantastic scene and a real eye catcher. Inside, the art is moody and detailed, far outshining the story in quality.

Overall, I found this issue to be interesting in a strange way. It's pretty far outside what I would expect in an Aliens story and extremely derivative of other sci-fi works. I wouldn't exactly call it GOOD, but it's not really BAD either. It's just sort of a weird little story so far.

ISSUE TWO

As the crew of the cargo ship investigate the isolated Xenomorph laboratory under the guise of routine safety and maintenance checks, Doctor Nordling becomes aware of their interest in his business and decides to make them part of his experiments. . .

In this issue, it's revealed that the husband and wife maintenance team are actually investigators for "Grant-Corp", the corporation funding Dr. Nordling's research. He figures their real business out pretty quickly and poisons them at dinner before throwing them into the alien hive as hosts.

Once again, the nasty personality of Nordling is SO overblown that he's pretty much a caricature instead of a character. Between that and the ridiculous alien-form synth talking casually like no other android in alien movies or comics ever, the story reads like a strange parody of sci-fi horror and edges closely into seeming like an awkward sitcom based on the Alien franchise. I'm not sure if this is what the writer intended, but it's just an odd feel for an Aliens story.

The art takes a pretty severe downward turn in this issue as well. The cover is pretty bad, and the interiors are worse. The addition of Jimmy Palmiotti on inks takes away the previous gritty detail. . .especially on character faces. . .and makes this look utterly average and uninteresting. It's a perfect example of how important good inking is to comic art. I wasn't familiar with Palmiotti as an inker before this. In my humble opinion, he sort of sucks. . .or at least HERE, he does.

ISSUE THREE

After being saved from the alien hive, the Grant-Corp investigators desperately attempt to escape the isolated laboratory, only to come into conflict with Doctor Nordling and his obedient synths. 

In the process of trying to escape, they also discover that Nordling is selling alien eggs and research to a rival corporation. The issue ends with an army of armed synths seemingly prepared to rebel against the mad scientist.

This issue moves along at a fairly brisk pace, compared to the previous two, and the ending panel telegraphs an all-out action finale. . .which seems strange in a series that so far has been more focused on character than action. It just feels a bit disjointed for the story to suddenly become "Let's shoot some $#!T up now!" after being "I'm creepy and crazy" for two issues.

The art continues its downward slide as well. The cover is nicely done. . .except for the goddamn cigar in the alien-form synth's mouth. But most of the interior art is pretty bad. There ARE some good panels here and there, but 75% of the book looks rushed and some panels look like they are only partly finished.

And finally. . .

ISSUE FOUR

In an all-out action packed finale, the rebel synths begin to dismantle Dr. Nordling's operation. In retaliation, he releases the alien hive into the outpost. As the synths make their final stand, both the Grant-Corp investigators and Doctor Nordling desperately attempt to escape the carnage. . .

The investigators get away just fine, but Nordling receives the awful fate that was pretty much telegraphed from the first issue, at the hands of his alien-form synth and. . .poisonous smoke from a cigar blown in his face.

This issue was pretty much a running battle through the outpost after the alien horde is released from the hive, but for that, it's probably the best issue of the four because it finally dispenses with the awkward attempts at humor (for the most part) and gave me more of what I expect in an Aliens book.

The art here was much stronger than in the previous issue as well. It still had quite a few rough patches, but it didn't look nearly as sketchy and unfinished. . .in some places it was really good.

CONCLUSION

If I had to describe these four issues in two words, they would be "Hot Mess".

The story was all over the place, starting off as an extremely derivative variation on the "Brilliant scientist goes mad from isolation and surrounds himself with completely obedient creations" theme, but liberally sprinkled with attempts at humor that fell flat. . .and then halfway through, the story took a sudden swerve into "KILL EVERYTHING THAT MOVES!" Action movie territory. 

The art didn't help.  It was just as uneven as the story.  It started out in the first issue being good, then in the second it got worse, then in the third issue it became pretty bad, and finally ended up being pretty good in the last issue.  Art swerving in quality like that is to be expected in longer series where creative teams get swapped in and out, but it's hard to understand in FOUR ISSUES.

Overall, this was NOT one of Dark Horse's better Aliens products.  I can't really suggest it to anyone except diehard Alien fans such as myself who want to read and watch anything and everything with the Alien name attached to it.  As far as anyone else goes. . .you can do better than this.  Skip it.

Up Next. . .

Richard Corben.  Edgar Allan Poe.  How can this NOT be good?

Marvel MAX's Haunt of Horror: Edgar Allen Poe 3 issue mini.

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - Aliens: Berserker

First, let me say that I'm a big fan of the Aliens and Predator universe that Dark Horse established outside of the movie continuity in the 1990's.

BUT. . .

The stories varied wildly in quality.  Some of them were brilliant, and are some of my favorite comics, period.  Others were steaming piles of crap.  The inconsistency of Dark Horse's Alien universe was its weak point. . .and I'm assuming the reason why it eventually faded away for quite a while (They've recently rebooted their Alien/Predator books and the quality is a lot more consistent).

So what we have here is a mini from smack dab in the middle of Dark Horse's Alien/ Predator 1990's heyday.  Is it one of the good ones?  Let's find out!

ALIENS: BERSERKER

DARK HORSE (1995)

SCRIPTS: John Wagner

PENCILS: Paul Mendoza

COVERS: Kilian Plunkett

ISSUE 1

In this issue, we're introduced to the crew of the "Nemesis", a Weyland-Yutani Company Hunter/Killer team. A small group of expert mercenaries whose specialty is taking out Alien nests using specialized tactics and supported by a walking tank with a living brain. . .The Berserker.

I found this to be a pretty enjoyable issue. It's mostly introduction and setup. . .following the Berserker team on a mission into an alien nest and showing the military precision and destructive power of The Berserker (a giant, armored power suit with a living person locked inside under sedation until needed).

The art was a bit hit or miss on this one. This is another artist who can draw vehicles and gear with beautiful detail, but struggles with human proportions and faces. The coloring is also WAY too bright, with big primary splashes everywhere. The cover is VERY nice, though.

Overall, this was a great introduction to the specialized Hunter/Killer teams working for the Alien universe's "Evil Corporation". It's a fast reading and enjoyable little piece of hard military science fiction.

ISSUE 2

The crew of The Nemesis is diverted to Terminal 949. . .a space station with a crew of over a thousand, making it the largest Alien nest in history. Unfortunately for them, the Company refuses to call in the Colonial Marines for backup and orders are to take the station intact. . .a suicide mission.

This issue wasn't quite as good as the first one. . .but still wasn't bad. One would think that if it was SO important that the station not be damaged or destroyed, that "The Company" would send a few more teams of Hunter/Killers in, instead of relying on just one team. But then again. . .they ARE supposed to be the best.

Also, there's some clunky dialogue that's supposed to set up a romantic connection between one of the team and their commander that's extremely forced.

The art maintains the same problem as in the first issue. . .the double-whammy of the line artist not doing so well with humans and the color artist being WAY too heavy handed with the primary colors.

All in all, other than a bit of shaky romance subplot with half good/half bad art, this was still a decent and fast-moving read with lots of great sci-fi military action.

ISSUE 3

Things start to go badly for the crew of the Nemesis as team members start dying, communications go down, and their Berserker seems to be having trouble getting started up for battle. . .

Lots of good action in this issue as the Hunter/Killer team realizes just HOW many aliens are on the station and start losing people as they are overwhelmed while their Berserker is having problems.

Once again. . .briskly-written sci-fi military fiction with art that is great in some places and pure crap in others. The awful coloring really stands out in this issue even more so than the previous ones.

ISSUE 4

And now for the big finish!

In order to save the rest of the team, their medic has to take over the Berserker when the living "brain" inside dies. But having an inexperienced pacifist driving a heavily-armed war machine is just the beginning of their problems as they are betrayed by their commander on Company orders and they have to run for their lives to avoid being nuked along with the station. . .

Another fast-paced issue with lots of action as the team tries to escape the station after their commander is ordered to nuke it to protect the secret that The Company has been transporting Aliens.

The art is still problematic, but the scenes where the commander gets his karmic payback via facehugger alien are very nicely done. Unfortunately, the colors are still God-awful.

Overall, this was a good issue, but as an ending for the mini, it left me a little cold. It seems (from a blurb on the last page) that this was actually a prologue to "Alien vs. Predator: War", so there isn't really any resolution as the three surviving team members fly off in a shuttle away from the exploding station. . .just a sort of "To be continued".

CONCLUSION

All in all, this was not bad. I liked it quite a bit.  It's a quick-moving, decent piece of hard science fiction military action.  If you aren't a fan of that genre of writing, then this won't be for you at all. 

 The characters are barely-sketched military cliches, the story is basically an excuse for shooting things, and the ending is a bit disappointing. . .but all that said, it hits the marks for a pretty good hard sci-fi story.

The only real problem here is the art.  Vehicles, machinery, weapons, aliens, and gore are all done VERY nicely.  Human faces and proportions are pretty poorly rendered.  This wouldn't be so much of a problem in this kind of story, but it's compounded by lousy, heavy-handed coloring.  It's all too bright and splashed with primary colors in an extremely distracting way.

Overall, what we have here is a decent sci-fi military story hampered by barely tolerable art.

Up Next. . .

The new Azrael nobody asked for but we got anyway!
DC's 2009 Azrael: Death's Dark Knight 3 issue mini.

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - One Shots Part One: Aliens, Ruse, Batman, Captain America, The Goon, and Saddam Hussein!

I DO love the one-shots! They're probably my favorite kind of comic book.


To me, the one shot is one of the ultimate expressions of comic art, where the creators are tasked with the challenge of telling a complete standalone story in a very limited space.  Sometimes it works brilliantly, other times. . .not so much.


ANYWAY. . .


Here's another handful of one-shots randomly pulled from my collection.


Let's do this!

ALIENS: MONDO HEAT

Dark Horse (1996)

SCRIPTS: Henry Gilroy

PENCILS: Ronnie Del Carmen

COVER: Ronnie Del Carmen

When a mining colony is infested with aliens, the owner's daughter is missing, and Colonial Marines can't get there soon enough, mercenary exterminator Herk Mondo is called in to take care of things even though Mondo's extermination methods tend to be a bit. . .destructive.

Still, despite being unarmed, surrounded by aliens, saddled with two spoiled women, and betrayed by his employer's greedy son, Mondo gets the job done.

Ah. . .the 90's. Remember when Duke Nukem was the King of video games? Herk Mondo, alien exterminator, was Dark Horse's version of Duke Nukem. Quick with the one liners. surrounded by women, and killing everything in sight with ridiculously large guns.

Overall, despite the total "90's-ness" of this one shot, I found it to be a fun, quick read. I liked that Dark Horse tried to throw a little humor into the grim world of the Aliens line of comics, and for the most part, it worked. The realistic, yet cartoony art definitely helped sell it.

All in all, a very nice little one-shot. It makes me wish Dark Horse would have done a few more Mondo stories.

ARCHARD'S AGENTS:

THE CASE OF THE PUZZLED PUGILIST

CrossGen (2003)

SCRIPTS: Chuck Dixon

PENCILS: Mike Perkins

COVER: Mike Perkins

When former boxer and agent of famous detective Simon Archard, Peter Grimes, runs into trouble from former criminal associates, he's forced to flee for his life and into the employ of a country Earl.

Peter decides to try his hand at solving the crime when the Earl ends up dead, and discovers that he's a better boxer than detective when he picks the wrong suspect with the wrong motive. Still, he ends up with the girl, so all ends well.

I really enjoyed this one shot, which is a tie-in to CrossGen's Sherlock Holmes tribute, Ruse. The dialogue was sharply-written, the story was engaging, and the detailed art was fantastic. . .it reminded me a lot of one of my favorites, Steve Epting.

I liked the humor in the ending in that the amateur detective gets everything wrong and the case is only solved by a confession made in order to stop him from beating the wrong man to death.

All in all, an extremely enjoyable one shot that really makes me miss CrossGen's short-lived Ruse series, and CrossGen in general.  They put out some really good comics during their time.

BATMAN: THE 10-CENT ADVENTURE

DC (2002)

SCRIPTS: Greg Rucka

PENCILS: Rick Burchett

COVER: Dave Johnson

The origin of Batman is retold from the perspective of Batman's new partner, Sasha Bordeax (AKA Bodyguard), as we follow them on a typical night's patrol.

When the night is done, the peaceful morning back at Wayne Manor is shattered when Bruce Wayne's ex-girlfriend, Vesper Fairchild, is found dead on his doorstep. . .leading into the "Bruce Wayne, Murderer?" crossover.

Overall, I really enjoyed this little one shot quite a bit. The retelling of Batman's origin in comics is overdone, but Rucka keeps it interesting. The chunky art is very nicely done as well. . .it reminds me of the animated series or Batman Adventures a bit.

The only thing I didn't like about this book is that as a one shot it doesn't stand on its own very well beyond the origin retelling. I had no idea who "Sasha" was and had to dip into the Wiki-Well to see how she fit into things.

That said, despite reliance on assuming the reader is up on (then current) continuity, this was a very nice issue.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE ROAD TO WAR

Marvel (2016)

SCRIPTS: Will Pilgrim & Stan Lee

PENCILS: Andrea DiVito & Don Heck

COVER: Ron Lim

First off. . .the cover on this one is spectacular! Definitely worth a frame on the wall.

The story is okay. Nothing great, but not bad. It's a prequel to the "Civil War" movie and features the movie versions of the Avengers as Captain America tries to fit the new team members into place by taking them on a mission where they all have the opportunity to take turns punching a giant robot. TEAMWORK!

The art is serviceable and solid, once again, nothing too spectacular. There are quite a few full page shots, including one for each Avenger, that are nicely done.

The back half of the book is taken up by a reprint of Tales of Suspense #58 by Stan Lee and Don Heck. It's pretty good, depending on your tolerance for Silver Age art and dialogue.

Overall, this was a solid one shot. Nothing spectacular (except the cover!). It serves as a very nice introduction to the MCU versions of the Avengers, as well as a nice taste of Silver Age Mighty Marvel Bombast.

DESERT STORM: SEND HUSSEIN TO HELL!

Innovation Publishing (1991)

SCRIPTS: Robert M. Ingersoll, Gerard Jones & Charles Marshall

PENCILS: Michael Dutkiewicz, Dean Hubenig & Ernie Steiner

COVER: Mark Jones & Mike Witherby

Now, HERE'S an odd bird indeed.

At first, I thought the cover on my issue was loose, but the printing on the inside of the wrap around cardstock cover goes ACROSS the binding, leading me to believe that this book has a removable cover for some 90's-tastic reason.

Then, in another odd touch, the indicia reads: "This volume is not a reprint -- it is a re-binding of existing printed books, with original covers and staples removed. Contents may vary!", leading me to believe that there are multiple versions of this book.

Odd physical properties aside, there's not much to like about this book. The opening story, about an airman who crashes in Iraq and finds out the Iraqi soldiers following him are just trying to surrender, and the one page Rocky and Bullwinkle tribute are entertaining in a jingoistic way. . .but they only take up 8 pages total in a 64 page book.

The other two stories are. . .well. . .crap.

"Legacy" seems to be based on an ongoing superhero title, but it really looks like an excuse to draw sexy women. And it doesn't even do a great job at that. The artist is one of those who can draw women's bodies to perfection, but struggles with literally everything else.

The last story (Right Place, Wrong Time) is a bit more tolerable, with decent black and white art, but the story itself is convoluted and confusing. Some sort of sci-fi noir detective time travelling thing.

Overall, I have two words for this one shot:

No bueno.

THE GOON 25-CENT SPECIAL

Dark Horse (1995)

SCRIPTS: Eric Powell

PENCILS: Eric Powell

COVER: Eric Powell

A giant poker-playing spider, a goat-headed demon with a funny hat, a swamp monkey monster with an identity crisis, a zombie priest who makes the swamp monkey eat a dead guy's head, and the Goon punches lots of stuff!

Yeah, the story doesn't make much sense, and you get dumped right into the middle of it, but I still found this one shot to be pretty entertaining.

The dialogue is sharp, the art is nicely done, and the short backup story is pretty damn funny.

Overall, I didn't find this to be a great introduction to The Goon (as I was sort of hoping it would be), but it's not bad at all.

CONCLUSION

This handful of one-shots were definitely a mixed bag. . .from the excellent Ruse to the laughably crap-tastic Send Hussein To Hell! and everything in between.  Generally, I liked them all except the aforementioned Desert Storm one shot, and even that wasn't ALL bad.


The thing I DIDN'T like is that only half of these one-shots were really stand-alone stories (Aliens, Ruse, and Captain America).  When I read a one-shot, I'm looking for something that stands on its own.  The name "One Shot" sort of implies that.


Up next. . .


MORE one shots!


Part 2. . .Hellboy, Punisher, Red Sonja, Boba Fett, Dracula and The X-Files.


Be there or be square!