Longbox Junk - Star Trek Unlimited #7

Welcome to Longbox Junk, the place where I write comic reviews that nobody asked me to!

Can you smell it? Awwww. . .YEAH! That's FALL in the air, folks!  You know what that means, right? RIGHT? Well, if you don't, it means that it's time for what's become a bit of a Longbox Junk tradition. . . the annual LONGBOX JUNK HALLOWEEN HORROR MARATHON!

It's where I make the effort to cram as many spooky comic book reviews into the month of October as I can!  Sometimes there's a theme, sometimes there's not.  But there's always a lot of fun to be had!

Ready? Let's do this!

Wait. . .WHAT?  It's still September? Ah, you party poopers.  

I guess let's check out a Star Trek comic instead.

STAR TREK UNLIMITED #7

Marvel/Paramount Comics (1998)

AN INFINITE JEST

SCRIPT: Dan Abnett & Ian Edginton

PENCILS: Ron Randall & Tom Morgan

INKS: Art Nichols & Scott Hanna

THE COVER:  

It's very simple, and in that simplicity, it REALLY catches the eye.  The gold and silver insignias and title against the flat black background pop out in a big way.  Quite a few of the Star Trek covers from the short time Marvel held the license are pretty cluttered and crowded.  This is definitely one of the better ones of the bunch.  Let's get inside this thing!

THE STORY:

We begin our tale as two godlike beings, Q and Trelane, grow bored and decide to play a game.  A game with the very fabric of existence as the prize and with humans as the playing pieces!  Trelane makes the first move. . .

We shift scenes to the 24th century and the bridge of Starfleet's new flagship, the Sovereign class U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 E on the day of her maiden voyage.  

Commissioned after the destruction of the fabled Enterprise D on Veridian III (as seen in the movie Star Trek: Generations) the powerful new starship is under the guidance of Starfleet's finest Commanding Officer, the legendary Captain James Kirk. . .wait, WHAT?

Captain Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise E sense that something is wrong, but unable to put their finger on it, they proceed as planned with the ship's maiden voyage.  

In the meantime, Q mocks Trelane's choice of player, but Trelane is confident that Kirk will thrive with the technological advantages of the 24th century.  Q decides turnabout is fair play and reveals HIS player. . .

On the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701, in the 23rd century, we are introduced to Captain Jean-Luc Picard as his ship comes under attack from a Klingon cruiser!

Picard manages to fight off the Klingons despite his confusion, and that of the crew over his strange orders.  Finally, Q steps in to freeze the action and reveal the game to Picard.  

Predictably, Picard is outraged and refuses to play Q's games.  Q tells him that he's got no choice. The game is afoot, existence itself is at stake, and Q expects Picard to win.

Likewise, aboard the Enterprise E, Trelane shows himself to Kirk and reveals the game.  Kirk protests that he can't win a game that he doesn't know the rules to, but Trelane leaves without providing anything more than that he expects Kirk to win the game.

Upon Q and Trelane's exit, the Captains of both ships are informed by their crew that they have somehow been transported to a strange uncharted section of space, with a total absence of all interstellar matter except themselves and a planetoid called "Salvation" that was previously in neither ship's data banks.  

Both Captains set course for the planetoid, as it seems to be the only possible source of answers in this strange space.  In the meantime, Q and Trelane are satisfied with the chosen players and the game space.  All that remains is to provide a challenge. . .

With a snap of his fingers, Trelane summons Picard's old foe Gowron and his Imperial Klingon Vor'Cha Cruiser.  He places the hulking battleship near Picard's ancient Starfleet vessel.  A confused Gowron immediately begins pursuit of the Enterprise!

Q protests Trelane's unequal match.  Trelane mocks Q for perhaps not being up to the challenge.  Q decides that once again, turnabout is fair game.  With a snap of HIS fingers, a challenge is presented to Kirk and the Enterprise E.

Kirk's old foe, Commander Kang, is transported to the strange playing field.  They detect the Enterprise E and immediately set course to intercept!

Aboard the Enterprise E, the approaching ancient Klingon warship is detected on an attack course!  The crew is certain that the Klingon weapons will not be able to harm them, but Q throws another twist into the game, disabling the Enterprise E's shields as Kang attacks, causing heavy damage!

Aboard the Enterprise NCC-1701, Picard is faced with an advanced Klingon warship bearing down on his ancient and highly outmatched vessel.  He decides that the Klingons thinking that he won't fight will be their advantage.  

Using his knowledge of the Klingon vessel gained from the 24th century, Picard turns the Enterprise in and strikes a weak point, taking the Klingons by surprise and heavily damaging their engines.  

Picard takes advantage of the temporary gain and warps away from the battle and toward the Salvation planetoid.

Meanwhile, aboard the heavily-damaged Enterprise E, Captain Kirk desperately tries to think of a way to escape with his crippled and unarmed ship.  The crew informs him that repairs will take hours.  Obviously, fighting isn't the way out of this one.

He hails the ancient Klingon ship and Commander Kang seems not at all surprised to be facing Kirk.  Kang demands surrender.  Kirk refuses and makes Kang an offer. . .the secrets of the weapon technology on the planetoid in exchange for safe passage.  A deadly bluff if the Klingons manage to see through it.

As Picard's Enterprise flees from Gowron, he gathers the command crew, revealing to Spock and McCoy that he isn't who they think he is.  He's from the future and they're all pawns in an insane game between immortal beings.

Spock and McCoy are skeptical, but Picard invites Spock to mind-meld with him. . .as in the future, he mind-melded with an older Ambassador Spock and that traces of that time should still be within his mind.  Spock does the mind-meld and is convinced Picard is telling the truth.

Aboard the Enterprise E, after stalling Kang's attack, Kirk decides to come clean and reveal the truth to Deanna Troi.  Using her psychic abilities, she becomes convinced that Kirk is telling the truth.  She immediately thinks he's talking about Q.  Kirk informs her that there is another. . .Trelane.

The two Enterprise crews contact each other and join in orbit around the Salvation planetoid.  Picard, Kirk, and their command crews beam down to the planet to discuss the situation, driving Trelane into a rage as their respective playing pieces "cheat" by working together!  Q is just surprised it took them this long to do it.

Trying to salvage what's left of their game, Q and Trelane also travel to the planetoid to confront their wayward champions. . .just as Kirk and Picard knew they would.

As Picard and Kirk argue with Q and Trelane, trying to convince them that their game is childish and beneath the dignity of immortal beings with unlimited power, the Klingons Gowron and Kang ALSO beam down to the planetoid.

Kirk and Picard reveal to the Klingons that they have also been used as pawns in a petty game played by immature immortals.  The Klingons stand with the humans in refusing to play any longer.  Q realizes that the game is over.   He challenges Trelane to abandon this game and resolve their contest in another way. 

Trelane agrees, and with a snap of Q and Trelane's fingers. . .

. . .Kirk finds himself back on the bridge of HIS Enterprise, still engaged in battle with Kang.

. . .Picard finds himself back on the bridge of the Enterprise E, ready for her maiden voyage.

. . .And  Trelane and Q ready to decide their contest with trial by combat.  All's well that ends well.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

What we have here is a story that can literally ONLY be told in comic books (or novels).  Even in 1998, twenty-five years ago (TWENTY-FIVE YEARS? I feel old as dirt about now!), the actors in the original Star Trek series were getting up there in years enough that this would have been impossible to do in live action. 

And see. . .THAT'S why I love comics like this!  They can give us stories that we could never have otherwise (okay, there's novels too, I guess).

As far as the story itself goes, it's fun.  It ends a bit abruptly, but getting to that ending where Q and Trelane are put in their place by their "opponents" joining together and letting the Godlike beings know that they've underestimated humanity AGAIN is a pretty fun ride.  

I like the twist that Kirk is put into a situation that he can't fight his way out of, and Picard fights his way out of a situation that he can't talk his way out of.  It shows that Starfleet values both the fighter AND the thinker, and always has.  And really, that's the heart of this story.

On the art side of things, the art is decent.  There are a few standout moments, but not many.  There's two artists and two inkers credited, so I'm thinking one did the original crew's story and the other did the Next Generation crew.  

They DO match up pretty well, but I think the artist on the original crew did a better job capturing the likeness' of the actors.  On the Next Generation side, Troi, Q and Worf in particular are pretty poorly-done.  

Other than that, the art overall is fine.  It tells the story nicely, but doesn't try very hard to do much more than that.

CONCLUSION

So I WAS going to just do a random comic again for this review, but picked this one specifically because another blogger I really enjoy has been doing overviews of Star Trek comics and had never actually seen one of these Star Trek Unlimited comics.  It was a pretty short-lived series. . .only 10 issues published quarterly during the short time in the 90s when Marvel had the Star Trek license.  

There's really not much information to be had on this short series, which told stories set in both the original series timeline and the Next Generation timeline (as well as this issue, which combined the two).  I picked this issue because of the interest the other blogger expressed in it, and I hope this review helps add to the scant information to be found on Star Trek Unlimited.

Wait. . .what? Who is that other blogger I mentioned?  Glad you asked!

His name is Josh Turnbull and he runs a GREAT blog called JOSH'S GEEK CAVE that can be found at the link, or where he regularly posts as a contributing member at COOL COMICS IN MY COLLECTION . . .the place where they keep comics FUN!

I don't mind throwing a shoutout to either one of these great places to get your geek on!  Josh's Geek Cave reviews just about EVERYTHING, from Star Trek to Sesame Street. . .and NO, I ain't kidding!  This guy loves it ALL!

As far as Cool Comics In My Collection goes, it's a great little gathering place for all things nerdly and fun!  There's a little bit of everything and I say if you want a fun hangout that keeps things loose and friendly, then join the Cool Comics Crowd!

OKAY. . .unsolicited (I swear) plugs for places I really like are done!

If you're a Star Trek comic fan then this story combining the original and Next Generation crews is a lot of fun and well worth a read.  The series has never been collected, so you'll have to keep your eye out in the bargain bin for individual issues.  I see them fairly often, so they're out there to be found by the diligent Longbox Junkers willing to hunt them down.

Is it the greatest Star Trek story ever told? No.  Is the art the best Star Trek art out there? No.  Is it a fun story that can only happen in comic books (or novels)? Yes!  So keep your eye out and give it a try.

Up Next. . .

Okay, NOW we can begin the Longbox Junk Halloween Horror Marathon!

A couple of years ago (2020) I did an all retro review edition of the Longbox Junk Halloween party. I think I'd like to do that again!  Why not? I have a LOT of old spooky comics that have never been reviewed by anyone.  So let's do it!

The Longbox Junk Halloween Horror Marathon 2023 Retro Review Edition is ON!

Be there or be square.

Longbox Junk - One-Shots (Part 3)

Welcome to Longbox Junk, where the comics are cheap and the reviews are free!

Let's cut the introduction short this time and take a look at another handful of one-shot comics from my collection.  If you're a regular reader of Longbox Junk, then you know that these are my all-time favorite kind of comic book.  One issue. . .one story.  Nowhere for a creative team to hide.

This time out I've got a half and half mix of superhero and science fiction comics. Let's do it!

ONE-SHOTS (Part 3)

STAR TREK:

OPERATION ASSIMILATION

Marvel (1997)

OPERATION ASSIMILATION

SCRIPT: Paul Jenkins

PENCILS: Steve Erwin

COVER: Hajime Sorayama

THE COVER:

For some reason, this cover seems to be trying a little TOO hard.  The main figure seems stiff and the "Collector's Item Issue" spatch on the left oversells the comic a bit and just dates this to the 90's more than anything.  That said, it's not a BAD cover.  It's nicely-drawn and I like the muted colors.  A Romulan Borg is also an intriguing promise, so let's get inside!

THE STORY:

Moliok, Proud Daughter of the Seat of Tarek, patrols a backwater sector of Romulan Space near the Neutral Zone. . .in command of an outdated ship and tasked with putting down petty rebellions against Romulan Rule, far from the action and excitement of those preparing for the inevitable confrontation with The Federation, thanks to her political misfortune.

Suddenly, Moliok's luck changes when an unidentified ship intruding in Romulan space offers her a break from the grinding routine of frontier patrol.  She moves in to confront the giant cube-shaped ship as it destroys a scientific outpost.  Moliok quickly discovers that her attacks are incapable of harming the unidentified intruder, which is capable of repairing itself.

Caught in a tractor beam, Moliok is commanded to surrender her ship.  She refuses and decides to ram the cube after setting the self-destruct, but before she can do so, strange cybernetic beings transport aboard her ship.  A brutal and desperate hand to hand battle breaks out, but Moliok is unable to defeat the invaders.

She is taken aboard the cube and subjected to agonizing surgery, forcing her to join the collective of the alien "Borg".  When we next see Moliok, she is serving as a Borg emissary as the cube continues to destroy Romulan outposts.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

This one-shot serves as a prequel to the late first season Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "The Neutral Zone", which re-introduces the Romulans as a Federation foe to be reckoned with as outposts in the Neutral Zone are destroyed by an unknown enemy (revealed later to be the first off-screen appearance of The Borg).

The story itself is pretty straightforward and honestly a bit light.  It feels more like the first issue of an unfinished mini-series than a complete standalone story.  It's well-written and the character of Moliok is interesting, but it just feels like there should be more to it.

On the art side of things, it's not bad, but it's not particularly great either.  It's the kind of art that just tells the story and doesn't try to do anything other than that.  In other words, pretty average.

Overall, the most interesting thing about this story is seeing the Borg from another point of view that we didn't get from the T.V. show. . .which is one of the things I love about comic books!  And for that alone, I can recommend this story to any Star Trek fans (like me) out there who want just a LITTLE more background to the Borg arrival in Star Trek: The Next Generation.  If you're NOT a Star Trek fan, you'll probably just wonder where the rest of the story is.

So not a bad start.  Let's see what else we've got. 

NEXT!

FLASHPOINT:

GREEN ARROW INDUSTRIES

DC (2011)

GREEN ARROW INDUSTRIES

SCRIPT: Pornsak Pichetshote

PENCILS: Marco Castiello (Pgs. 1-5); Ig Guara (Pgs. 6-20)

COVER: Viktor Kalvachev

THE COVER:

The Flashpoint stories were all pretty much "Elseworlds" tales, and that's what this cover promises. . .a gun-toting Green Arrow with a fiendish grin who might or might not be a hero at all in the twisted world of Flashpoint.  It really makes me want to jump right in and see what's going on!  I also really like the green tone of the cover.  Very nicely-done.

THE STORY:

Billionaire Oliver Queen has made a fortune through Green Arrow Industries by using paramilitary teams to take down supervillains and transform their high-tech weaponry into military equipment for sale to the highest bidder.

When Queen's top secret testing facility comes under attack and his best friend, Roy Harper, is killed (along with a group of visiting U.S. Generals), Oliver equips himself with some of his retro-fitted villain weaponry and sets off in pursuit of the leader of the attack.

During a brutal battle in the jungle outside of the island facility with a strange woman armed with a bow, Oliver learns that the attack is to draw attention to the secret facility.  Green Arrow's weapons have caused death and destruction throughout the world and their inhumane corporate testing methods must be stopped.

Suddenly, Oliver realizes that HE'S become the villain!  He promises to end dealing in weapons and to use the technology for other purposes, but the mysterious woman just laughs at Queen's new pledge of "responsibility" before revealing that she's his daughter from the supervillain now known as Vixen and that he's been paying child support since she was born but has never seen her face before now.

Chastised, Oliver tries to allow his daughter to escape, but his security forces arrive on the scene and gun her down. . .devastating him as he resolves to change his life over her dead body.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

Hmmmm. . .interesting.  Like I said above, all the Flashpoint stories are basically "Elseworlds" tales.  This one gives us Oliver Queen as. . .well. . .pretty much a Tony Stark clone.  I'd have to say that this was an interesting little slice of the overall Flashpoint "universe", but it's very derivative and feels incomplete, like it was meant to be the first issue of a 3 issue mini.  It's not BAD, but to be perfectly honest, the cover is the best part of this comic.

As far as the art goes, this is another comic with art that just tells the story and doesn't really try anything harder than that.  There's a few places that the art manages to elevate itself to just above "Pretty Good", but there's not many.

Overall, as a small slice of the short-lived Flashpoint "Universe", this is an interesting look at a decidedly unheroic Oliver Queen being forced to face his part in the suffering of the world.  As a one shot "Elseworlds" story, it feels incomplete and has an abrupt ending.  Like the Star Trek story above, it feels more like the first issue in an unfinished mini.  

I don't think I can recommend this to anybody except Green Arrow or Flashpoint completionists.  It just sort of feels like a fragment of an unfinished story.  It's interesting, but ultimately forgettable. 

NEXT!

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA:

PEGASUS

Dynamite (2007)

PEGASUS

SCRIPT: Brandon Jerwa

PENCILS: Jonathan Lau

COVER: Photo

THE COVER:

A very nice photo cover of actress Michelle Forbes as Admiral Helena Cain, Commander of the only other remaining Battlestar, from Battlestar Galactica's second season.  If you're a big fan of the "re-imagined" BSG like I am, then this photo alone promises a chilling look at the dark places the fight for survival can take a story.  The "Pegasus" storyline was one of the best of the whole series and getting even a bit more of it is an exciting proposition that makes me want to jump right in!

THE STORY:

Set about a year before the events of the 2004 Battlestar Galactica SyFy mini-series, we begin our tale aboard the Battlestar Pegasus in spacedock undergoing maintenance and a refit of her Viper attack ships.  

Her commander, Admiral Cain, is given an emergency mission to travel to the Cylon/ Human armistice line to investigate the disappearance of the Battlestar Chronos. . .which vanished while responding to a distress signal believed to have been from a stealth ship lost on a previous secret mission across the border between Cylon and Human space.

Setting out with severely-depleted fighter forces, Admiral Cain is taken by surprise when Cylon ships attack as the Pegasus approaches the wreckage of the Chronos.  After being severely damaged, the Pegasus flees the battle and follows a distress signal coming from a Colonial supply depot.

After a brutal battle between Cylon forces waiting in ambush near the depot and Pegasus' outnumbered Viper pilots, Admiral Cain sends a ground team to investigate the distress signal.  The ground team discover a scene of carnage and are themselves attacked by Cylon troopers laying in wait.  After narrowly escaping the ambush, they discover the lone human survivor, Admiral Tong, commander of the destroyed Battlestar Chronos.

Back aboard the Pegasus, Admiral Cain attempts to gain information from Admiral Tong, but he suffers a mental breakdown and commits suicide in front of her.  Seeing the amount of death and suffering from this single encounter with the Cylons, Cain realizes that the threat waiting for mankind is far greater than anyone has imagined.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

Okay. . .not bad.  This is a nice, solid little piece of hard military sci-fi action.  Like the Star Trek comic above, it ties into the T.V. show (The 3rd season episode "Hero", which expands on the failed stealth ship mission mentioned in this comic). Existing Battlestar Galactica fans will get more out of this because, also like the Star Trek comic above, if you aren't a BSG fan, you'll just end up wondering where the rest of this story is at.

That said, if you ARE part of the target audience, then this comic reads like a lost episode of the series!  We get to see Admiral Cain in action before she became the hard and empty shell of a person we are introduced to during the "Pegasus" storyline on the show.  Here, she's shown simply as a strong, confident commander and it really sort of drives home how far into the darkness she went after the Pegasus escaped the Cylon destruction of the Colonies.  But like I said above, if you aren't a BSG fan, all that won't mean much to you.

On the art side of things. . .I'm a fan of Jonathan Lau's dynamic art style from his work on Dynamite's Green Hornet and Bionic Man series.  Unfortunately, this is not his best work.  It's not BAD, and his signature style is definitely on display for the more action-packed scenes, but for some reason a lot of the non-action scenes look sketchy and rough.  That and he never manages to capture the likeness of Michelle Forbes (the actress who plays Cain on the show).

Compare the top and middle panels to the cover to see what I mean

Overall, this is a comic that was definitely written for a specific audience. For existing Battlestar Galactica fans, this is a great little prequel story that reads exactly like a missing episode of the series.  So being a big BSG fan myself, this comic is a winner!  Unfortunately, if you aren't a BSG fan, the connections will mean nothing and what you'll end up with is a fragment of a decent hard military sci-fi story that (in its favor) MIGHT be good enough to make you want to check out the source material. 

AND FINALLY. . .

GREEN LANTERN PLUS

DC (1996)

MAGNETIC PERSONALITIES

SCRIPT: Ron Marz

PENCILS: Scott Kolins

COVER: Scott Kolins

THE COVER:

Meh.  This one's just not doing much for me.  It seems a bit cluttered and messy.  I do like the brilliant colors of the main characters, but other than that, there's not much to write home about here, in my extremely humble opinion.  Let's hope what's inside is better.

THE STORY:

We begin our tale as an isolated magnetic research station at the North Pole is attacked by a mysterious figure.  We then switch scenes to New York City, where Kyle Rayner (AKA Green Lantern) finds himself needing to rush an art assignment to Japan after missing a deadline.  

In the meantime, at a Philadelphia park, we find Ray Terrill (AKA The Ray) in an argument with his girlfriend over his never being around when she needs him.  The argument is interrupted by a strange magnetic event and Ray once again leaves his girl to follow the magnetic trail to its source.

After destroying a small island with a tidal wave, the mysterious figure from the North Pole heads to Tokyo, where he proceeds to wreak havoc before confronting and easily defeating Japan's newest hero, Arashi.  Green Lantern saves Arashi and then joins in the battle after recognizing his foe, Doctor Polaris.

As the battle rages through Tokyo, The Ray arrives on the scene to help Green Lantern and there's the team-up!  Leaving The Ray to fight Polaris, Green Lantern saves Tokyo from another tidal wave.  After Green Lantern returns, the two heroes compare notes from their solo battles against Polaris and attack him together, forcing Polaris' multiple personalities to fight themselves.

After Polaris falls victim to his inner battle, Green Lantern leaves him in the hands of The Ray as he finishes his own errand and recognizes the woman he was delivering his assignment to as Arashi, the Japanese superhero he rescued earlier.  We end the story knowing that Arashi also recognizes Kyle Rayner as Green Lantern.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

Hmmmm. . .okay.  What we have here is a pretty straightforward and extremely well-worn story path of "Heroes team up to fight a common enemy".  I'm actually surprised to find the "Heroes fight until they realize they're on the same side" team-up trope missing. . .so extra points there, I guess?  

What I'm trying to say is that this is a decent enough story, but one that's been told over and over and over and over and over and over and. . .well, you get the idea.  Most of the book is taken up with fight scenes, and at the end of the day nothing has changed for either hero.  It's a story you've read many times.

The only REAL interesting part of this was the Japanese hero, Arashi.  She's got a cool look and it seems like there was some potential there for her to be an interesting high-tech hero. . .unfortunately, when I searched for more stories with her in them, I discovered that this was her first, last, and only appearance.  DC sort of hit a foul ball there. Check her out. . .

As far as the art goes, I'd say it's probably the best part of this one-shot.  There's a lot of detail and interesting, cinematic angles that give things a great sense of motion.  The only thing I didn't like much art-wise was that the artist gives the youthful Kyle Rayner a grizzled look that makes him appear about forty years old.  Other than that, this comic has some great art and very nice colors.

Overall, this is a pretty by the numbers superhero team-up.  It's the sort of thing you read and forget about not long afterward.  It does have some very nice art, it's a sort of unusual team-up, and it's pretty fun, but it's basically comic book junk food.  If you're a big Green Lantern or Ray fan, then definitely keep your eye out for this one.  For anyone else. . .don't pay more than a buck if you REALLY want to check it out.

CONCLUSION

So there you have it.  Another handful of Longbox Junk one-shots.  Overall, I'd have to say that this bunch didn't fare as well as the last couple of batches I went through (Read HERE and HERE ).  There aren't any BAD ones, it's just that the only one that doesn't feel like an unfinished mini-series is the Green Lantern/Ray team-up.  The rest read like unfinished story fragments.

Granted, if you're a big Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica fan like myself, you'll get significantly more mileage out of those two one-shots. . .but not everybody is going to know where and how those stories connect with their television counterparts, so it's not fair for me to judge them any differently as one-shots needing to tell a complete story in a single issue.

Up Next. . .

I think I'm done with one-shots for now.

It's been a while since I dug into a mini-series.  But which one?

So many to choose from! I'll figure it out, though.

Be there or be square!

Longbox Junk - Off-Brand One Shots Part 3

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, where I write reviews of comics that nobody ever asked for!

Recently, the whole "nobody ever asked for" part has been more true than ever as I've been exploring a stack of one shot comics included in a purchase of 2 longboxes full of nothing but random NON-DC/Marvel comics.  I've gotta say. . .digging into those longboxes has definitely been a new experience in obscurity for me.  There's a LOT of stuff I never knew existed just in those two boxes of comics!

ANYWAY. . .

I've been letting my comic lovin' daughter pick the comics I review for these "Off-Brand One Shots" editions of Longbox Junk.  So far, she's done a pretty good job of mixing things up and giving me a nice variety of genres from horror to comedy and everything in between.  Let's see what she gave me this time, shall we?

THE ROCK

CHAOS! COMICS (2001)

THE PEOPLE'S COMIC BOOK!

SCRIPT: Steven Grant

PENCILS: Fabiano Neves

COVER: Photo

THE COVER:

It's a photo cover.  What can I say?  If you're a fan of Dwayne Johnson in his pro-wrestling "The Rock" persona, then this is probably an awesome picture worthy of being part of some sort of shrine.  To me. . .it's just a picture of a younger Dwayne Johnson giving me "The People's Eyebrow".

Moving along. . .

THE STORY:
The Rock is a simple man.  A man of the people.  A man who just wants a little peace between the times he lays the smack down in the wrestling ring.  When The Rock accidentally finds himself caught between two competing illegal underground fight promoters. . .one of which has a fighter pretending to be The Rock, it's time to teach some candy asses their roles!

The Rock invades the underground fight club and shows every Jabronie that dares to step up to him what it means to look upon the glory of the most electrifying presence in sports entertainment.  After defeating all comers. . .as was ordained the moment The Rock entered the building. . .he makes the crooked promoters smell what The Rock is cooking by forcing them to end their pathetic excuse for a tournament unless they want a piece of the people's elbow.

The End.

THE REVIEW:
I have to admit that I'm not a pro wrestling fan.  That said, I had a roommate in the late 90's that was rabid about it, so I'm familiar with it through a bit of osmosis from his constantly watching it.  There's also been a few wrestlers who have broken away from the ring and into the general public consciousness, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is probably the most successful of those, so I know him more than most wrestlers. . .and even then I'm not a big fan.  I'll watch his movies, but I don't go out of my way to see one just because he's in it.

What I'm trying to say is that I came into this comic not as a fan of The Rock, but as a comic fan who got handed a Rock comic by his daughter to review on its own merits.  I could care less about The Rock in general.

THAT SAID. . .

I liked this comic a LOT! Quite a bit more than I thought I would when I got it handed to me and I was like, "Really?"  It's the dialogue that makes this book great.  It's hilarious and over the top all the way through, from page one to page last.  Rock talking about himself in the third person and just blowing past everybody like a force of nature laser-focused on doing whatever the hell he wants to do is just FUN.  This comic is just entertaining fun from start to finish!  A very pleasant surprise.

On the art side of things, this is a pretty well drawn comic.  Not the greatest art I've ever seen, but it's good and at least it captures the likeness of the main character, which is a lot more than can be said for most licensed property comics featuring actual people (I'm looking at YOU Deep Space Nine a couple of reviews below).  There's also a great sense of motion during the action scenes.  The art here is pretty much perfectly matched with the story.

Overall, I was really surprised by how much I liked this comic.  It's fast, it's funny, it's over the top and just plain entertaining.  It's not thoughtful or deep in any way, but sometimes you just want a good simple FUN story.  This comic delivers just that.

THE VERDICT:
I give The Rock 4 out of 5 candy asses taught their roles.

A good start this time out. . .NEXT!

LADY ACTION SPECIAL

MOONSTONE (2009)

SCRIPT: Tony Lee

PENCILS: Jake Minor

COVER: Paul Gulacy

THE COVER:

I like a cover that tells a story and this cover tells me that there's a Lady and there's gonna be some Action!  I have no idea who Lady Action is, but without even opening this comic I can tell that her kind of action involves guns, fast cars, and possibly some sort of kinky uniform-oriented shenanigans when it's all said and done.  I like this cover a lot.  It's not the greatest comic cover I've ever seen (her face and gun hand both look a little strange), but it's nicely done and lets you know what you're in for with one image.

THE STORY:

Nicola Sinclair (AKA Lady Action), an agent of the British A.C.T.I.O.N. Directorate, infiltrates the mansion of crime lord "El Caso" during an exclusive party.  With the assistance of an American A.C.T.I.O.N. agent named Adam, she successfully hacks into El Caso's private computer files and discovers that he has information that only A.C.T.I.O.N. should have.

Nicola's fears of a traitor are proven correct when El Caso and a group of his armed bodyguards arrive to take the British agent prisoner and Adam shows up with them and admits that he's working with El Caso.  As the criminals discuss how to execute her, Nicola causes an explosion and flees the mansion with El Caso's men in hot pursuit.

Lady Action grabs a motorcycle and leads El Caso's men on a running gun battle chase through the surrounding woods.  Nicola encounters Adam and tries to regain the flash drive with El Caso's files on it, but the American Double Agent shoots and kills Nicola as El Caso hovers overhead in a helicopter.

EPILOGUE: Two weeks later Nicola and Adam meet in a Texas diner.  The information theft was a distraction and her death was faked so that Adam could infiltrate deeper into El Caso's organization.  

Adam gives Nicola the information the British Branch was REALLY looking for, gained by El Caso's trust in Adam.  Shortly after Nicola leaves with the files, Adam is shot in the head by one of El Caso's assassins and El Caso is informed that Lady Action is alive and has the stolen information.

To be continued. . .

THE REVIEW:

Not bad.  Not bad at all!  This is a fast-paced, well-written "infiltrate and escape" spy story with a (somewhat predictable, to be honest) double twist.  It makes me want to know what happens next.  That said, even though it's a good story, it's not perfect.

This is firmly connected to the continuity of the Moonstone Captain Action series, so there are quite a few references to characters and events that have taken place "off stage".  There is an assumption that if you're reading Lady Action, then you already know vital Captain Action-related information. . .like what the hell A.C.T.I.O.N. is in the first place! (I had to wiki up and discover that it's sort of like the Mission Impossible Force, but their main enemy are aliens who have infiltrated the world's governments) In other words, there is NO background information here.  This story hits the ground running and stays that way to the end.

On the art side, I like this style a lot.  It has heavy lines, chunky forms, and is just slightly exaggerated with nice bold colors and a great sense of movement.  It's a perfect fit for a fast-moving story like this.  Like a lot of these "Off Brand One Shots" there's a lot more effort and detail put into the female figure than anything else.  This isn't QUITE as boob-tastic as some of them, but you can definitely tell what the artist's favorite thing to draw was.

Overall, I liked this comic a lot.  It has a fun, fast-paced spy story backed up with some good art.  There's no background material, so there's references that don't register well with a new reader like myself, and it has a "to be continued" ending, but that didn't stop me from enjoying this little story.

THE VERDICT:

I give Lady Action 4 out of 5 menacing gunmen.

Two good ones in a row! Let's see if we can keep this going.  NEXT!

STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE -

LIGHTSTORM

MALIBU (1994)

LIGHTSTORM

SCRIPT: Mark Altman

PENCILS: Rob Davis

COVER: Rob Davis

THE COVER:

*Sigh* This again?  Why do you keep doing this to me, Star Trek?

I'm a HUGE Star Trek fan, but Star Trek comics (especially those from the 80's and 90's) have pretty much consistently disappointed me with their art.  It seems like the built-in audience and sales for Star Trek comics leads to a "Minimum Effort" standard.  This cover is no exception.  It's okay. . .but it doesn't look like the artist put any more work into it than he absolutely had to.  And when I see the interiors were done by the same guy, it doesn't give me much confidence.  Here's hoping that at least the story is good.

THE STORY:

After the newly-established Federation colony Gakora in the Gamma Quadrant comes under attack by an unknown enemy, the Klingon cruiser A'v Wi, under the command of Captain Krol, answers the distress call, but finds the colony destroyed and only one human survivor.  Krol decides to take the comatose survivor to the closest Federation base, Deep Space Nine.

Captain Krol is determined to find and destroy the attackers, while Katha, the Imperial Adjunct aboard the A'v Wi, insists on a more diplomatic first contact with the mysterious aliens.  Deep Space Nine Commander Sisko agrees and asks to join the Klingons, along with his science officer, Dax.

Shortly after entering the Gakora system, the Klingon cruiser is attacked, but the attacking ships are technologically inferior and pose little threat.  After opening communication, the alien commander seems to recognize the Klingons as allies and thinks that the humans he sees are prisoners.  He offers to guide the confused Klingon Captain to their base.

After arriving at the alien homeworld and meeting their ruler, Malek, Sisko and Dax are imprisoned and scheduled for execution.  Adjunct Katha and Captain Kol demand an explanation and are told that humans are the enemy of the Myvock people because they violated the ancient holy ground of the planet Gakora.  Katha and Kol become more confused as Malek tells them that he was informed by other Klingons that the alliance between the Federation and Klingon Empire had collapsed.

IN THE MEANTIME. . .

On Deep Space Nine, the human survivor of the Gakora colony regains consciousness and informs Dr. Bashir that after the attack, when the aliens were slaughtering the survivors, they were accompanied by two female Klingons who Bashir realizes match the description of Lursa and B'etor. . .dangerous Klingon sisters who have constantly attempted to erode the Federation/ Klingon alliance.  Doctor Bashir and Chief O'Brien volunteer to travel to Gakora and try to warn Sisko and Dax.

On the Myvock homeworld, Captain Kol and Katha are introduced to Hernai. . .the Myvock military commander who led the attack on Gakora.  Hernai is determined that the execution of Sisko and Dax be carried out as quickly as possible.  Kol and Katha arrange a secret meeting with the humans to tell them that they will not allow them to be executed.  Katha reveals that she's actually a Klingon intelligence agent trying to track down the Klingon sisters Lursa and B'etor and prevent them from selling explosives to Bajoran terrorists.

On Gakora, Bashir and O'Brien are almost immediately captured by Lursa and B'etor while back on the Myvock homeworld, Sisko, Dax, Kol, and Katha confront Malek and inform him that he's being used by Klingon terrorists.  Commander Hernai interrupts and they are all taken prisoner and scheduled for immediate execution, along with Bashir and Dax. . .which reveals that Hernai is working with Lursa and B'etor.  

The Klingon cruiser transports the prisoners out of danger, and they quickly head for Gakora.  Following a battle in mines beneath Gakora, Lursa and B'etor make their escape.  Hernai reveals to Malek that he allowed the sisters to mine beneath their holy ground in exchange for technology to improve their weapons. Malek removes him from military command.  Katha goes in pursuit of Lursa and B'etor while Sisko and Malek make peace between the Myvock and Humans.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

Well now. . .that's a lot of story!  And it's pretty well condensed too.  I left out a couple of sub-plots (Doctor Bashir and the Klingon First Officer Koleth's friendship, for one example.  The simmering conflict between Captain Kol and Katha for command of the Klingon ship is another) and there's STILL eight paragraphs.  So yeah. . .this double-sized comic is definitely on the dialogue-heavy side.

The good news is that the story is very well done.  The writer (who is a pretty prolific author and screenwriter. . .including a two-volume 50 year history of Star Trek) very accurately captures the voices and personalities of the Deep Space Nine characters in such a way that this comic reads like it could EASILY be the script for a Deep Space Nine episode set in the first season of the show.  You can almost feel where the commercial breaks are supposed to go!  This is great read for Deep Space Nine fans like myself.

Unfortunately. . .there's the art.

Once again, a Star Trek comic fumbles the ball with the art.  It's clunky and uninspired from cover to last page.  The artist mostly fails to capture the likeness of the T.V. characters and backgrounds are minimal to non-existent.  There's just a feeling that not much effort was put into this. . .which is a damn shame, considering the really good writing.  With a little more effort on the art, this COULD have been a great comic. 

Overall, this comic is the definition of conflicted.  On one hand, you have a good story that absolutely captures the essence and voices of established Deep Space Nine characters and reads like a "Lost Episode" of the first season of the series.  On the other hand, you have clunky, uninspired art that demonstrates a "minimum effort" standard that is just one notch away from being outright bad. 

THE VERDICT:

I'll give this one a half and half score of 3 out of 5 bowls of Gagh (served live, of course)

AND FINALLY. . .

ENTER THE ZOMBIE

ANTARCTIC PRESS (2010)

ZOMBIES OF SHAOLIN

SCRIPT: Fred Perry & Robby Bevard

PENCILS: Ben Dunn

COVER: Brian Denham

THE COVER: 

I wish I'd had this comic when I was pulling covers for my Halloween comic display on my office "Wall O' Covers".  It's chaotic and crazy in a good way.  I like the colors a lot, especially the plain green background that really sets everything against it quite nicely.  The gigantic nasty smile on the featured Kung Fu zombie is creepy and hilarious at the same time!  It's not the greatest comic cover I've ever seen, but I like it!

THE STORY:

A talented but impatient young American Shaolin trainee is denied the chance to take the initiation test.  His master explains that decades of training lie in front of the young man before he can take the test. After learning the location of a hidden forbidden chamber on the Temple grounds, the student becomes convinced it holds the secrets of martial arts mastery he needs to take the initiation test.

Disobeying the command of his Master to not disturb the chamber, the student opens the sealed door and accidentally unleashes 36 evil, undead spirits that quickly begin to possess the rest of the students in the Temple. . .turning them into Kung Fu Zombies!

A friendly guardian spirit also released from the chamber informs the student that only HE can return the evil spirits to the chamber, because he was the one who released them.  The student gathers his courage and sets off to prove that he's worthy!

After fighting his way through the possessed students to come to his teacher's aid, the student is surprised to find that his Master had used him to open the chamber's seal and betray the Shaolin Temple to the evil spirits.  The battle between them is short and the student is easily defeated, but the Guardian Spirit infuses the student with the power of the SENTAI SHAOLIN TIGER!  

Transforming into a heroic, armored figure, the empowered student defeats his former Master and the rest of the evil spirits before changing back into a powerless young man.  The Guardian Spirit tells him that he is now the Guardian of the Secret Chamber.

Years later, the student has become the teacher.  A young, impatient student of his discovers the location of the Secret Chamber. . .

The End?

THE REVIEW:

Not bad.  Not bad at all!  This is an extremely fast-reading and stripped-down story that moves quickly from Point A to Point B to Point C without anything to slow it down.  This is a lean story that is over before you know it.  I literally finished this comic in five minutes.

But even though this is an extremely simple and action-heavy story, I liked it.  It's quick and entertaining.  It's not a great story.  It might not even be good, when you think about it.  It's like comic book junk food.  You know it's not really great, but before you know it, you're done with the whole thing and you sort of want some more.

Ben Dunn is actually an artist I like a lot.  I'm always happy to see his name on a comic.  I appreciate his (and Antarctic) bringing the Manga style to an American audience.  It's not my favorite style, but I like it in small doses now and then.  This is a pretty straightforward, no-frills example of that American Manga style.  It helps the fast-paced story move quickly across the page, and it's very nicely done.  

Overall, this is pretty much what I call a "junk food comic".  Sure, there's better comics out there, but sometimes you just want a little bit of fun entertainment that might not be what other people would call great, but screw those people.  Not everything has to be great.  This is just a fast-paced, fun little story.  Nothing more, nothing less.

THE VERDICT:

I'll give this one 4 out of 5 poorly-dubbed episodes of One Piece.

CONCLUSION

Well now. . .THAT was an unexpected surprise.  This handful of "Off-Brand One Shots" my daughter gave me was actually pretty darn good!  Except for the extremely weak art on Deep Space Nine (But that's par for the course on almost ANY 80's or 90's Star Trek comic, to be fair) there's not much bad to say about any of these.  That doesn't happen very often.  

Up Next. . .

Plenty more Off-Brand One Shots in the pile. 

Let's see what my daughter hands me next!

Be there or be square.