Welcome to Longbox Junk, where the comics are cheap and the reviews are FREE!
After writing my last Longbox Junk review on the short-lived NOW Comics version of Terminator (found HERE ), I was putting the comic back into the box and pondering what my next review would be. And THERE it was! Right there in the "T" box! Literally the next comic up from "Terminator".
Mr. T.
No. . .not JUST Mr. T, but Mr. T and the T-FORCE!
It was staring at me. DARING me. Pitying the fool! I couldn't resist.
And so here we are. Let's do it!
Mr. T and the T-Force #1
NOW Comics (1993)
COVER: Neal Adams
THE COVER:
MY EYES!!
Mr. T is famous for his bling and Neal Adams gives us ALL the bling! It certainly catches the eye. This is actually a pretty cool cover. Not anywhere close to Neal Adams' best covers, but it's still a good one. I like the contrast between the over-the-top glow of Mr. T's bling and the dark background. It really makes this cover pop.
I'm a bit disappointed that my copy wasn't sealed, so I don't get to feast my eyes on what was probably the most awesome free trading card in comic book history. I mean. . .GOLD FOIL! I have a sad feeling I've missed out on some sweet and shiny 90s gimmick swag.
**After I finished writing this review, I went online and found a picture of the card. It's a super-shiny copy of the cover. Small enough I could have put it in my pocket and carried Mr. T around with me everywhere I go, to gaze upon when I need a little moment of tough love and inspiration. Now I'm EXTRA sad.
Let's get inside this thing, fool!
THE STORY:
SCRIPT: Neal Adams & Peter Stone
PENCILS: Neal Adams
INKS: Continuity Studios
We begin our tale with Mr. T firmly informing us that he is indeed within the domicile.
The chumps in the car decide the best course of action is to fight Mr. T, despite him just literally demolishing the front of said car with one powerful blow of his mighty, mighty fist.
Mr. T, of course, pities the fools.
An extremely one-sided fight commences, wherein Mr. T tosses the thugs around like the cheap punks they are. That's the thing about a street fight. The street always wins. Wait. . .that's the wrong musclebound wisecracking tough guy!
In short order, there's just one skinny fool left. Mr. T decides it's time for some serious rap, but before he can violently inspire the young thug to do better, some SUCKA hits T from behind with a cattle prod!
But it take more than a high-voltage sucker punch to bring Mr. T down!
He quickly recovers and staggers to his feet. Mr. T sees a whole NEW group of fools to teach a lesson to. These newly-arrived suckas are armed with guns! That just ain't fair!
Mr. T pities them. And THEN pulls his own weapon!
But Mr. T isn't armed with a GUN. Guns are for chumps! Mr. T is armed with the most elaborate video camera known to mankind! And he's filming fools! That's right. . .SMILE, SUCKAS!
The awesome nature of Mr. T's powerful speech stuns and confuses the thugs. Mr. T proceeds to beat them with their own guns. Because THAT'S what happens when you pull a gun on Mr. T!
Making sure to let the chumps know JUST how easy it is for him to thrash them, Mr. T mercilessly teaches each of them a lesson they won't forget until there's just one fool left. . .the cowardly sucka who hit Mr. T from behind with the cattle prod! Mr. T has saved him for last, because he deserves SPECIAL attention.
Through sheer force of his awesome will, Mr. T takes another full jolt from the cattle prod, but this time he's ready! He somehow turns the electricity back to its source, and knocks the thug off his feet.
Mr T takes a brief moment to pity the fool before turning back to the young brotha he wanted to talk to.
Mr. T grabs the kid and drags him into an alleyway, where he throws open a dumpster and sheds a few manly tears as he lifts a baby out of the garbage. Mr. T had heard its cries during the fight because Mr. T has the enhanced senses of an urban warrior!
Mr. T informs the young brotha that it's a crack baby. A product of fools like him poisoning the streets with their nasty drugs. They're making crack mommas who make crack babies! Mr. T pities the fool!
Mr. T informs the young thug that since he created the lousy circumstances that led to the baby being abandoned, the baby is now HIS!
The punk hesitates, but doesn't want to raise the ire of the violent force of nature that IS Mr. T. He takes the baby, as Mr. T knew he would.
As the kid takes the baby, Mr. T quickly slaps a tracking and communication device onto his wrist!
Mr. T informs the punk that the cops are there to arrest his friends, and unless he wants to join them, he's going to take care of that baby and turn his life around. Mr. T and the T-Force would be watching him from now on!
Mr. T tells the thug that there's a clinic nearby. Take the baby there, get some treatment, and then go back to school, get a job and change his life. If he doesn't, or tries to skip out on Mr. T, he's gonna know. And only a fool would cross Mr. T!
Suitably chastised by the power of Mr. T's blackmail. . .er. . .words. . .the thug takes the baby to the clinic, where he's immediately screamed at by a nurse who's had it with all these damn crack babies!
As a group of other teenagers try to calm the nurse down and keep her from walking off the job, the thug notices they're wearing the same device on their wrist as he is. They're part of the T-Force!
While the situation at the clinic is getting sorted out, Mr. T calls the young brotha to check on things. He tries to explain what's going on, but Mr. T doesn't have time for too much jibba-jabba. . .he's on a mission!
He's been tracking down the root of the poison he's been fighting on the streets and now he's found it!
Unfortunately for Mr. T, what he ACTUALLY finds is a gigantic dude with a weird haircut and a big ol' gun talking gibberish! Ain't nobody got time for that!
To be continued. . .
THE REVIEW:
There it is. Let's break it on down!
Sheesh. Where to even begin on this one? It's a first issue, so I guess let's start there. If you've been reading this blog for a while, then you know I ask TWO things from a first issue. . .
1. Does it introduce the characters and their situation in a new reader-friendly way?
2. Does it make me want to read more?
Pretty simple, right? Well, you'd THINK so. Let's see.
As an introduction, this is a pretty poor one. It assumes you already know who Mr. T is and what he's all about. To be fair, even though this came out in the 90s and well past Mr. T's prime time bit of stardom, he was still a pretty recognizable figure in American pop culture.
That said, this issue just sort of throws Mr. T straight at you, with unexplained super powers (He smashes a car and bends the barrel of a rifle, so super strength at least), high-tech equipment, and a backup team that's barely mentioned. This comic hits the ground running and proudly proclaims that background details are for chumps.
I mean. . .I guess Mr. T is a superhero now? Maybe? It's pretty vague. Not a good introduction at all.
Does it make me want to read more? Not really. The story, or what there is of it, is extremely thin. Half of the comic is a fight scene, and the other half is uncomfortable sermonizing about crack babies. It's almost like reading two separate stories, and neither one is really that good.
I'm guessing the thin and unfocused story is the reason I see this first issue in the bargain bin all the time, and rarely see any other issues of this series (10 all together). It seems to me that not many people came back after the first issue. I know if I was buying this for full price off the rack in 1993, I wouldn't.
But this comic has Neal Adams art! Let's talk about THAT!
Yep, this comic is illustrated by the late, great Neal Adams. But this was 90s Neal Adams, not prime Neal Adams. The art is definitely the best thing about this comic, but it's not Adams' best work. That said, Neal Adams on a bad day is STILL better than a lot of artists at their very best.
If you're a fan of Neal Adams, then this might be worth checking out just for the art. Like I said, it's not his best, but it's some pretty good Neal Adams art in an unexpected place that some comic fans might not even be aware of.
CONCLUSION
I grew up in the 70s and early 80s. I was there when Mr. T was HUGE. Even today, decades later, people know who Mr. T is. I'm not the biggest Mr. T fan out there, but what I DO like about him is that, once he found his place in American culture, he always tried to promote a positive message in his own unique way.
I can see that Mr. T was TRYING to do exactly that here, in this comic book. I can appreciate that. Unfortunately, while the heart is there, the execution is flawed. The end product is a strange piece of the 90s that securely sits in the "so bad it's good" category of comic books.
On the one hand, it's got a thin and unfocused story that borders on the ridiculous. I can't really recommend something like that. Yeah, it's got Neal Adams artwork, but it's not Neal Adams at his best.
On the other hand, it's one of those strange little artifacts of the weird and wonderful world of comic books that I'm glad exists. If every comic book was some great piece of illustrated literature, the comic world would be. . .boring. It's stuff like this that keeps things interesting. And so for THAT, I can recommend it.
Like I mentioned above, this first issue is EXTREMELY easy to find in the bargain bins out there. The rest of the series seems to be a bit harder to find. I've only found issues #2 and #3 in the wild. I WAS going to do this review on #3, which is drawn by Norm Breyfogle (Adams only did the first two issues) and sports a really nice Dave Dorman painted cover, but decided since #1 was the MUCH more common find, I'd do that one instead. . .BUT I DIGRESS!
If you want to check this strange comic book out for yourself, it's not hard to find at all. You'll probably get more mileage out of it if you're a big fan of Neal Adams artwork, though. If you should happen to spot one of these out there and haven't read it, go ahead and spend a buck or two just to say you did.
And so that's it for this piece of Longbox Junk. Thanks for coming by and spending a little bit of time, and I hope you decide to come back for more. Until next time remember, as the great Mr. T once said, "Any man who don't love his momma can't be no friend of mine! "
Words to live by, friends.
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