Welcome to Longbox Junk, where I just keep on writing comic reviews, even though nobody asked me to!
It's that time of year again, folks! The sweet aroma of pumpkin spice is wafting through the office at my job. The weather is getting cooler, and it's time for Longbox Junk to feature some HORROR COMICS! That's right, we're kicking off the traditional Longbox Junk Halloween right here, right now!
Let's start this off with some anthology comics, shall we? WE SHALL!
TWISTED TALES #1
Pacific Comics (1982)
COVER: Richard Corben
THE COVER:
Aw, yeah! THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! The great Richard CORBEN! A bona fide comic legend in MY book, and I'm sure a lot of books. He's an artist with a unique style. . .super-realistic, almost photorealistic, but exaggerated at the same time. I'm a fan. I've been a fan since I first saw his work as a young lad stealing my older cousin's copies of Heavy Metal.
This is a typically great cover from Corben. I love the way he's able to draw fear in the eyes of a character, like he does here. The only thing I DON'T like about this gruesome cover is that we only get half a page of it! I mean. . .I like a big chunky logo on a comic, but this one seems a bit much.
In MY humble opinion, a Richard Corben horror cover is the perfect way to kick off Longbox Junk's Halloween celebration. Let's get inside this thing and see what else we've got!
THE STORIES:
Four stories in this issue. . .and just LOOK at the creative talent on deck! Corben, Jones, Alcala, Blevins! With names like that, if this comic isn't good, I'll eat a scoop of raw pumpkin! Let's check 'em out.
Infected
SCRIPT: Bruce Jones
PENCILS: Richard Corben
INKS: Richard Corben
Oscar Felps is a man with a thankless job. . .debt collector. He spends his days in conflict with the poorest people in Southern California. He hates his job and everything about it.
But THEN, finally a bit of luck comes his way. He picks up one of his "clients" walking on the side of the road. He manages to convince her that a personal "arrangement" can be made regarding her debt. She agrees to do what he wants, but they have to be done before her children return from the beach. She's quite adamant that he be gone before her children get home.
But Felps overstays his welcome and is horrified to discover the true nature of her children as they devour him alive! Dun-Dun-DUNNNNN!!
The End.
THE REVIEW:
Our opening story is a short "gotcha" story. Honestly, it's not great. It's not BAD, but it's barely even there. I was expecting a bit more from a Bruce Jones/ Richard Corben team-up. I DO like the Golden Age throwback feel of the story, highlighted by the big caption box storytelling style. And Corben's art is reliably excellent, even if it's nowhere close to his best. The panels are a bit small for Corben to really shine here.
Good taken with bad, this story is just okay. I'm a bit disappointed.
NEXT!
Out of His Depth
SCRIPT: Bruce Jones
PENCILS: Alfredo Alcala
INKS: Alfredo Alcala
Sharon is a counselor at Camp Granada. Convinced that, at 29 years old, her best days are behind her, Sharon jumps into a relationship with the new Administrator, Jeff. . .only to discover that he isn't exactly the loyal kind.
Losing all hope for love, she marries the camp's homely groundskeeper, Willie, a kind and gentle soul who has been pining for Sharon for years.
But Sharon's relationship with Willie takes a dark turn when she returns to Jeff's arms behind his back and Jeff reveals to her that she's married a very wealthy man despite Willie's appearance and behavior.
Camp Granada is built on Willie's family's land. Sharon would inherit a tidy sum and she and Jeff could live happily on the money together. . .but only if something unfortunate should happen to Willie.
Sharon agrees to "take care of" Willie and make it look like an accident. During a late night canoe ride on the lake, Sharon brutally murders her husband and dumps him overboard.
All SEEMS to be going according to their dastardly plan, until they find out Willie's money was no longer in the bank. Convinced he'd hidden it at the camp after getting married to Sharon, Jeff is determined to search every corner of Camp Granada for it.
But that night, as they search, the horrifying drenched and decayed figure of Willie shows up to enact his terrible undead revenge on the conspirators! Crime does not pay, kids.
The End.
THE REVIEW:
This story had a little more meat on the bone than the first. It's a cool little Golden Age horror throwback tale about greed, unfaithfulness, and revenge from beyond the grave. Something like this could have been in a classic EC horror comic. . .and I like that vibe a lot!
Alfredo Alcala's classic comic art style serves to cement the Golden Age horror feel of this story in a perfect way. Overall, I liked this one a lot more than the first story, which wasn't BAD, but just felt really light. This story has a predictable ending, but at least it's a complete story.
Let's see what's next!
A Walk in the Woods
SCRIPT: Bruce Jones
PENCILS: Bret Blevins
INKS: Bret Blevins
When Jack and Alice get lost in the woods during a German vacation, they find themselves trapped in a hellish world where fairy tales are real! First they encounter and escape a witch living in a gingerbread house, who intends to trap and eat the couple. . .
They then are attacked by a bear after discovering a house with three chairs, three beds, and three bowls of porridge. . .
Finally, Jack leaves Alice in the house of a kindly old woman while he seeks help elsewhere. Unfortunately for Alice, the old woman is actually a Werewolf!
Jack is unaware of the danger he's left Alice in as he finds a woman named Jill, who agrees to help if Jack will just come with her to the top of a nearby hill and help her fetch a pail of water. . .
The End.
THE REVIEW:
This is probably the weakest story in the issue. It's just. . .well, it's ridiculous. Even Bret Blevin's art can't save it. It's not even that good of an example of Blevin's art in the first place. The "story" is just vignettes of two random people finding themselves in fairy tales without any sort of explanation or reason.
I get that sometimes the surreal doesn't want or need an explanation, but this just feels weak and lazy.
Moving along.
All Hallows
SCRIPT: Bruce Jones
PENCILS: Tim Conrad
INKS: Tim Conrad
We join a group of boys on Halloween as they go trick or treating, but something feels "off" about the group. Each house they visit seems to be terrified of the boys. . .
They eventually end up at the Hathoway house, where they demand their son, Eddie. Mrs. Hathoway protests, but Eddie's father gives his son up, saying if they don't then the boys will never leave them alone.
The boys take Eddie to an abandoned, burned house, where we learn that a Halloween prank seven years before went horribly wrong and burned the boys alive. They've collected one of the perpetrators every year since then. Eddie is the last.
After burning Eddie alive, the group is relieved. They can finally rest. It's over. It's taken seven long years, but they've finally had their revenge.
The End.
THE REVIEW:
It's not a barely-there "gotcha" story like the first. It's not a gruesome "Crime does not pay" tale like the second. It's not a weird series of vignettes like the third. This story is a creepy slow burn ghost story and is probably the best to be found in the issue.
I really like the leisurely pace of this story as it unfolds, giving little drips of information as it goes along as to what's REALLY happening. Tim Conrad's realistic art gives this supernatural story the perfect mundane feeling it needs to succeed. Overall a nicely-done tale!
CONCLUSION
Four stories, two pretty good, one okay, and one clunker. Not bad for the opening issue of the Longbox Junk Halloween party. But truthfully, when I saw the talent lined up on this comic, I had my hopes set a little higher than "Pretty Good" and "Okay".
Overall, this isn't a BAD comic. It's just that it could have been so much better, given the names working on it. It's definitely a pretty good read, which makes me a little disappointed when I think about how it COULD have been great. I guess my expectations were just a little too high.
If you want to check this comic out for yourself, you probably won't find it in the bargain bin. I hardly see ANY 80s horror anthology comics in the bargain bin. You'll have to dig into the regular back issue boxes and pay maybe five bucks for it. Twisted Tales wasn't ever collected, so you'll have to grab the single issues.
So a decent start to the Longbox Junk Halloween. Let's keep the party going with MORE 80s horror anthology fun!
See you there.
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